Hi FML!  Elizabeth here, daughter of the famous traveling Bob C.  Dad
finally made it home this afternoon after driving more than 26 hours
straight.  It seems he spent more time with his mom than he expected, and
wanted to get back in time for my graduation party Friday and my graduation
Saturday.  Right now he is snoring, sleeping on the floor and surrounded by
about 10 ferrets.  Bear is sleeping on his stomach, and Chrys is across his
arm.  Stella is curled up on his chest.  It seems we all missed the
long-haired and crazy guy.
 
Dad didn't bring home any ferrets this time, but I think he wants one or two
from the east coast from someone named Dick.  I don't know who he is, but
dad seems to like him, which doesn't mean much since he also likes sushi and
liverworst YEEEECCHH!!!
 
The first thing dad did after getting home and scolding me about my post
telling you all to be nice to him and NOT give him any peppers was go out
and buy a new car.  All he will tell me is it is bright red and I can drive
it graduation night.  It is also the first car he ever bought that has air
conditioning.  He says its for the hot muggy east this summer, but I think
it so the ferrets will be cool over to the vets.  I also think he hopes I
will be bnice to him on the FML, but NO WAY DAD!
 
Just to let you all know I will continue to be a "Bob Pest"  I thought I
would tattle on him about his soft head and heart for ferrets.  He stopped
in Kansas City on the way home.  My friend Vickie and I drove over to meet
him, eat lunch, and escort him "home in victory" (his words, not mine).
There is a mall there with a carosel inside, and they have a pet store that
sells ferrets.  He likes to check out the new kits from time to time, which
in dad's case means for hours as he picks each one up to talk to it and pet
it.  I guess the water dish was dirty, and dad pointed it out to one of the
people working there, who said it was dirty because the ferrets played in
it.  Dad said something to the effect that it didn't matter why the water
was dirty, it had poop in it and needed to be changed.
 
The lady just ignored him, and I saw dad smile.  Bad news.  I was watching
from the parrots and wanted to warn her but it was too late.  In what seemed
to be slow motion, dad reached in, picked up the bowl and poured the water
on her shoe.  He said something like, "Oops, the slimy water made the bowl
slip in my fingers.  I was just going to change it.  Sorry..." or something
like that.  The lady made him put the ferret back, then locked the lid.  I
think she thought dad did it on purpose.
 
Anyway, dad is kind of sick and his gums are pretty pale, and I can tell he
is in a lot of pain.  He promised to see the doctor on Monday, and I think
they will give him a hard time.  Dad is SO hardheaded!  But he does have a
shiny new red car!  Remember, NO PEPPERS!!
 
Oh yeah, thanks Melissa for the card (and other stuff).  I got a new pair of
bright pink running shorts.  Dad said you were very nice and gave him salsa
chips, weasel beer, and other goodies.  I think he liked the book best.
Also, thaks everyone else for all the cards and letters about granddad.  I
know dad was very thankful for them.  And dad was very upset that he went to
California and no one would give him peppers.  GOOD JOB!!
 
Elizabeth, daughter of Dad the Dummy, also known as Bob
[Posted in FML issue 1960]