This is a copy of the letter that I wrote to Betty after reading her tragic
story.  If it helps at least one fuzzy stay safe, it is worth telling.
 
 To: [log in to unmask]
 Subject: Dolly and Digger
 
Dear Betty,
 
When I read your letter in the FML, I knew I had to write to you.  We have
had such similar losses and I am feeling so much like you.
 
I lost my first ferret , Wiley , in Feb.  He was my first to have and first
to lose.  It also came the same week as Dale Earnhardt's death, so I was
doubly devastated.  We were going to the NASCAR race in Bristol in March
and so my daughter brought her two ferrets to stay here while we were gone.
I still had my female, Bauble and she brought her female, Kiki and her
beautiful pink-nosed boy named Digger, who instantly stole my heart, since
he was so much like my Wiley.  I ended up keeping them and felt so lucky
to have them.
 
Now it was time to go to Charlotte in May.  I also have 6 cats and a dog
and one of my cats is on valium and I was very concerned about him not
missing his meds, since he is doing so well.  I made all the arrangements
with responsible people to come in and care for them.  I told everyone if
they couldn't get out the door - (my ferrets are free-roam) just put them
in the cage and just close the door and by the time they get it open, they
can beat them out the door.
 
About a week before, Digger had gotten up on the bed and the headboard and
the window sill and scratched thru the screen and gotten out, but THANK GOD
the neighbor lady saw him and brought him back.  We closed the window and
were gonna replace the screen with the heavy wire kind plus rearrange the
bedroom so no windows were accessible to the ferrets as soon as we got
back.
 
Matt always stays upstairs in the boys room and never even goes in our
bedroom - I think it flashed thru my brain to put a note on the window,
but I guess I never thought he would open our bedroom window.  Plus it
was so cold and rainy when we left.  =A0 My STUPID MISTAKE !!!!!
 
I guess Matt was over late Sun night and cleaned all the poopy pads and
litter box, etc and decided to air out the house since we finally had
some nice weather.  He stayed all night that night and closed them Mon.
morning.  =A0 We got home late Mon night and the first thing we did was
round them up before the people started running in and out, except I
couldnt find Digger.
 
I kept looking and squeaking, but finally knew he wasn't in the house.  I
couldn't get ahold of Matt till Tues morning and he told me about opening
the windows.  I made up a few quick flyers and called in an add to the
paper and continued squeaking and looking outside.  About a block up the
street in a cul-de-sac I thought I saw a ball of fur - my heart leaped for
a minute - but then I swallowd my heart when I realized he was on his side.
He was laying right by the curb and I'm afraid he might have gotten clipped
by a car - I don't really know.
 
I scooped him up in my arms and sobbed so hard the whole neighborhood
probably heard me, but I didn't care.  All I could do was cry and tell
him how sorry I was.  I buried him in a plastic sack that he loved to
play in so much.  I called and cancelled the add in the paper and wrote a
note to my family that I buried Digger and please don't call me.  I asked
the receptionist to keep everyone away from me as much as possible.  It was
end of month and I came back to such a mess - that I had to work 12 and 13
hour days all week.  It was just as well - because I couldn hardly stand
to go home and see the empty poopy pad where he always went.
 
I haven't even been able to write to the girls in my ferret group about
this yet and they are the best in the world.  I am just so consumed by
guilt and miss him so much that I can't hardly stand it.  God gave me a
beautiful pink-nosed little boy again like my Wiley and I failed him.  He
was so special - he would lay and sleep out in the open so much and come
and plop down at my feet just like a dog.  I miss him dumping the trash
cans and knocking everything into the bathtub and digging all the food out
of the food dish.
 
Why didn't I just write that DAMN STICKY NOTE !!!!!!!!!!
 
So you can understand how I feel and I pray that I remember the wonderful
times soon and get over this pain.  He had his whole life ahead of him and
I'm to blame for his death.  I'm even having a hard time enjoying my other
two - although I do pick them up and kiss them constantly and tell them I'm
so sorry that they don't have their friend anymore.  They seem to be doing
fine - much better than me.  I'm so sorry this is so long, but I think I
just had to get it off my chest.  I still haven't even been able to talk
to my family about it.  I did break down with my daughter, but that's all.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss and I truly understand how you feel.
 
Thanks for listening.
 
Julie and Bauble & Kiki
 
May the Rainbow Bridge be kind to my beloved Wiley and now Digger
[Posted in FML issue 3440]