I haven't written in a while mostly because I have been busy with up and
coming ferret events that our organization is working on.  Two and half
weeks ago one of our ferrets went missing and I wasn't totally convinced
that she had gotten outside.
 
I had been at a conference on the Mother's Day weekend and did not return
home until Sunday evening.  Because of the lack of sleep I had over the
course of 4 days and long hours on the road, I was in semi conscious state
for the next two.  Wednesday I became fully cognizant and that's when I
felt one of our 19 ferrets was not about.  I frantically searched the
house and feared the worst... that she had somehow gotten out.
 
I feared this as just before I had left on my trip the Thursday prior, I
had gone into the basement and dashed out of the house to go to the bank
leaving the basement door not fully secured.  When I returned shortly
thereafter, I found the door open and did my best to search the basement
in the short time I had before I left on my trip.  I left hubby a note
explaining my stupidity, along with a list of the ferrets I had seen that
I knew were not in the basement.  I left, feeling stupid, and yet hopeful.
Although the basement is not ferret proofed, I did my best to secure the
only way out of the basement by hanging up the dryer hose, out of reach of
a curious ferret.
 
By Friday night I called hubby who relieved my shattered nerves by telling
me all 19 were accounted for.  I was more than relieved... I was grateful.
 
Sunday morning was the last day hubby saw my little girl.
 
Now usually we have this daily ritual in which we do a head count.  Because
of my extreme tiredness, this wasn't done for two days... so the Monday
and the Tuesday.  Hubby was excited by my trip that he wanted to hear all
the details.  Foolishly, it became the focus of our waking hours and our
routine was temporarily put to the wayside.
 
After I realized that Dolly was no where to be found, I began tearing up
the house, beginning with the basement.  I frantically checked every box,
every opening, and anything that I thought she could get into.  I searched
behind all the heavy stuff, fearing that she got stuck somewhere and needed
help getting out.  The basement was rechecked by hubby and still no sign of
her even being down there.
 
I'm usually a pretty level headed person, but for some reason, her loss
gave me leave of my senses.  The only thing I knew to do was to make up
mailbox inserts for my neighbours and deliver them, and call the local
Humane Society.  After that, my brain went numb.
 
For two and half weeks we searched the house, checking and rechecking every
possible place that she could have gotten into.  I wasn't convinced that
she had gotten outside and so I knew she must still be in the house.  But
where?  There was something inside me that told me that she was dead, but
I did not want to give into that feeling.
 
Last night we found her body...
 
You see, Dolly was an excellent climber.  It appears that she climbed up
my rock wall (that I had built about 7 years ago) in the kitchen and was
exploring the top of my china cabinet.  I can only assume that she either
fell or she thought it was another way down, but she wedged herself between
the cabinet and the wall.  The cabinet itself sits very close to the wall
(the rock side is adjacent) and so we stupidly thought that it was close
enough that a ferret could not get caught in the space.  But she proved us
wrong with her life...
 
When we were checking the kitchen initially, we moved the cabinet and
looked behind it... the problem was, we didn't look on the other side
thinking it was too small for even her small body to get into.
 
I am totally devastated.  This is the first time we have lost a ferret to
an accident.  For over 16 years we had been so diligent in ferret proofing.
In all my talks, and all my speeches, and in all of my articles, I
spoke about the importance of ferret proofing and how it is a life long
responsibility.  And now, I stand in judgment before all my peers.  And
before my little girl...
 
Dolly... my little monkey girl... please forgive me for not keeping you
safe, and not being there when you needed me the most.  I fought so hard
to get you and now I have lost you.  I am so sorry, baby.  I am so sorry...
 
Betty and Her Blur O'Fur
For the love of ferrets...
Missing Dolly... the monkey girl
[Posted in FML issue 3435]