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Subject:
From:
Linda Doran <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 29 Sep 2004 21:15:04 -0700
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The next morning, the team of FLO agents rose well before dawn and packed
their tent and bear container into a rucksack, which the strong and
muscular Tonx offered to carry.
 
"How are we going to get to the governor's mansion?" asked Aida.
 
"We'll have to find someone who will give us a ride," said Zipper.
 
"I have a special request," she added.  "My brothers, Vivaldi and Verdi,
are helping me compose an opera about the legalization of ferrets in
California.  I want to be the Nordic princess who sings the aria wearing
one of those crowns with Viking horns on it."
 
"Interesting," mused Zipper. "I thought Aida was an Egyptian heroine."
 
"That's a different opera, silly!" replied Aida.  "I have a very
versatile voice."
 
"Now you're showing off," said Verdi.
 
"Hey, if you got it, flaunt it!" replied Aida, and with a flip of her
tail, she sauntered down the road.
 
After walking for about 30 minutes, they saw a hay truck pulled over on
the side of the highway.
 
"How about if we catch a ride in the back of the hay truck?" suggested
Rubin.
 
"Last one there s a rotten egg!" hollered Petey, and he lunged toward the
truck.
 
"Wait, wait, wait!" cried Zipper.  "Get back here!  We don't want to give
ourselves away!  We need to be as stealthful as possible."
 
"Oh, all right," muttered Petey. "I ll go see if the coast is clear."
 
As Petey crept ahead and peered through the grasses on the side of the
road, he saw that the farmer was replacing a flat tire on the left front
side of the truck.  So he motioned to his buddies to climb aboard from
the rear right side.  Soon all the ferrets were on board, snuggled
comfortably inside the hay.  As the truck got under way, they all fell
asleep.
 
A few hours later, Zipper woke up and climbed the side of the hay bales
until he could see up ahead.  Soon, he saw a sign saying "Sacramento,"
with an arrow pointing to the right.  As luck would have it, the truck
took the exit.
 
"Come on, you guys!" he hollered to the other ferrets.  "This is where we
get off!"
 
When the truck reached a stop sign on the outskirts of the city, they all
jumped off.
 
"How are we going to find the governor s mansion?" asked Stellina.
 
"Well, it just so happens I have a map," answered Zipper, and he unzipped
the back of the rucksack that Tonx was carrying, removed the map, and
unfolded it.
 
"I figure, if we stay well away from the road and move carefully through
people's back yards, we ll get to the governor's mansion without alarming
anyone," he said.
 
A few hours later, the ferrets gazed up at a tall, wrought-iron gate that
guarded the Schwarzenegger mansion.  Suddenly, a familiar voice called
out.
 
"Hi, everybody!  I ve been waiting for you," the voice said, and a
handsome ferret in a plainclothes suit walked toward them.  "I m afraid
I have a bit of bad news."
 
"Hey, that s our brother, special agent Epcot!" cried Stellina.
 
"Indeed," said Epcot, and he gave her and his other siblings -- Vivaldi
and Verdi and Aida and Rubin and Millie a hug.
 
"What s the bad news?" inquired Zipper.
 
"Well, our mom, your Aunt Ronnie, sent me here to tell you that the
deal is off.  Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed the ferret amnesty bill in
California."
 
"What?!" they all cried.  "Why?"
 
"Well, we don t really know," said Epcot.  "The governor said the
proposed bill was too bureaucratic and that an Environmental Impact
Report should be conducted.  There are few things in the world as
bureaucratic as an Environmental Impact Report.  It's our understanding
that an environmental study was conducted some time ago."
 
"I can t believe it!" said Rubin.  "We were so looking forward to
congratulating Governor Schwarzenegger for saving the day, just like
he did in the movie, Kindergarten Cop!  "
 
Shocked and dejected, they slumped into a circle behind some bushes.
They were so dismayed, they hardly knew what to say.
 
After a while, Noelle piped up.  "This bill was approved by both houses
of the California legislature.  I thought that meant a majority of the
people supported it."
 
Zipper sighed.  "You re right, Noelle," he said.  "Unfortunately,
government in the United States is less and less about people and more
and more about money and power.  The people are going to have to fight
very hard if they want to keep democracy alive."
 
"This is terrible!" said Petey.
 
"I thought this governor was from a foreign country," said Stellina.
"Austria, right?  How does he think it feels to be a ferret in
California, unwelcome because you re a ferret, no matter how loyal and
friendly and loving you are?  What if people decided that because Nazis
were bad, Schwarzenegger must be bad, too?"
 
"I'm afraid I don t have an answer for you," said Zipper.
 
"What about our plans to go to the governor's mansion?" asked Verdi.
 
"Let's sleep on it," said Zipper.
 
So they pitched their tent within a circle of bushes, ate a light supper,
piled on top of each other inside their tent for warmth and comfort, and
went to sleep.
[Posted in FML issue 4651]

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