Ariel posted:
>Jenna asked me to post this message regarding her ferret, Vinyl Reign.  She
>posted yesterday asking for help, but unfortunately, the little fuzzy
>slipped away to the Rainbow Bridge while she was en route to the vet.
>Heartbroken and disillusioned, she's given her second fuzzy to her brother
>to add to his business, and she's taken herself off the FML.
 
Firstly, I'm sad to hear that Vinyl Reign passed over the Bridge so
suddenly.  It's always hard to lose a furbaby, but especially so when it's
so suddenly.  Secondly...
 
>Heartbroken?  For obvious reasons.  Disillusioned?  Because two of you
>lovely people emailed her rather nastily, one (or both) telling her if she
>couldn't afford to buy Totally Ferret food she didn't deserve to own a
>ferret.
 
This made me mad.  I'm sorry folk, but someone wrote in asking for help and
they received flames for trying to help their sick ferret?  Who are we to
condemn a person for trying to get help?  At least Jenna had asked, she was
worried about her ferret, and thought that she would get help from the FML.
It angers and saddens me that people can drive her away not only from the
future help of the FML but also from ferret ownership in total.  It doesn't
matter *who* sent the flames, all that matter, IMO is that they were sent
in the first place.  Sometimes, I'm proud of being on the FML, this is not
one of those times.
 
>I think perhaps gentle instruction while someone's ferret is dying might be
>better than wrathful indignation.  I don't know who it was, wasn't given
>the mail, DON'T want to know!!!  My ignorance means I have no hidden
>agenda, just disappointment.  For your info, I don't feed my ferrets
>Totally Ferret either: oh, baby, just come take a shot at me.  (off the
>list, if any of you insist).
 
Ariel, I agree with you here 100%.  As a matter of interest, I don't and
can't feed my ferrets Totally Ferret either.  Totally Ferret just isn't
available in all areas, and although New Zealand now has ferret food,
there's no way I'd pay five times the amount for an inferior product to what
I currently feed.  As a matter of interest, I feed mine mainly Iams kitten,
and none of my ferrets are under 2lbs in weight.  My kits when they left,
each weighed somewhere between 2 and 4lbs - I guess I do something right.
Everyone's circumstances differ.
 
>I must also mention that others replied back to her kindly; I'm sure she
>thanked each of you herself.
 
I'm grateful for that at least.  I know that there are many many good people
on the FML.  I have met, and will meet several of them.  There are also
several 'not so good' people on the FML.  Everyone has differing opinions on
just who is good and who 'isn't' - In my opinion, people on the FML are here
on the main to learn more about ferrets.  They're here to find out how to
keep them healthy and happy, to make them more comfortable and find ways to
make life with ferrets simpler while making friends with others that own
ferrets.  If people already KNEW what to feed their ferrets, and what to
look for for illnesses and what to do when something is different the FML
would not be needed!!  We could survive on cute ferret stories and the like.
Oh, that would be nice.  It would be lovely to get to that stage, but it
will never happen.  In some ways, it's better that way.  Another person on
the FML means another person just now getting to learn about ferrets.
Another question asked means another person educated by the replies.
 
A good rule of thumb may be this.  If you're 'upset' over something someone
is doing.  Don't respond immediately (I'm ignoring my own advice here -
oops)  Simmer down a little, then write a *sane* reply (not a flame)
explaining what you feel is being done "wrong" and why you feel that.  Then
suggesting some ways to 'fix' it.  In other words, instead of posting "You
shouldn't own ferrets cause you don't feed an expensive food like Totally
Ferret" a good way could be to say "I believe that your ferrets' dietary
needs will be filled better if you fed Totally Ferret because..."
 
In Jennas' case, she needed to know what may help her furbaby.  For Vinyl
Reign, that help arrived too late.  Hopefully, some day, Jenna will forgive
those of us on the FML who are still learning about diplomacy and return to
learn more about the ferrets she evidently cares about, and possibly get
another one in the future.
 
Jenna, fuzzy hugs for you, remember that Vinyl Reign waits for you over
the Rainbow Bridge.
 
Sam
[Posted in FML issue 2323]