Hi friends,
I got this letter fro my old Bud Casper.  He moved out a while ago to live
with a human or two and some other animals in his hospice home.  He seems
to be having a rough week but I will try to help him out-- that's what us
mascots are for!  Here is his letter:
 
 ..... Dear Jerimiah,
Hi.  This is Casper.... remember me the handsome silver kid ( only when
I was at the shelter I was mostly white and my hair was sparse) now I'm
silver and have lots of hair.  Well I came to a hospice home.  The same
one Brodie was at.  Well things have been going pretty good.  I like my
room and my roommates, they are real old cats.  The twins were born feral
so they don't like people very much except Mama, but, they do like me I'm
NEVER in a cage anymore unless I want to go in to take a nap.  Mama is
kinda strict though but Dad is a real soft touch.  All you have to do is
give him "just the right kind of look" and he melts.  He's good for all
sorts of stuff until Mama comes out and says NO MORE.  She is worried
because my blood sugar is on the low side.  So what!  I was brought up
on junk food,and I've made it this far.  Sometimes a kid just has to have
a sweet or you know you"ll never make it.  I suppose with all the good
things I should not complain buy I knew you'd understand so that's why I'm
writing.  Today THE LACTAID BOX WENT DRY.  This has NEVER happened before.
I know she has been sick for almost two weeks but HOW COULD SHE LET THIS
HAPPEN??  She does sputter about it being "spensive its over $3 a box --
you don't spose she is trying to cut it out ?  Do you?  WE NEED OUR
LACTAID to drink.  Also she has been cutting my Foamy Fries into eight
( mind you eight ) small pieces , she cuts the cheweezels up too.  Well
I've tried to look real pathetic and I've flat ferreted every time she
comes around.  Finally she went to the store and got Lactaid.  I really
did not know how I'd survive until she got home.  When she opened the door
to my room I ran up to hall to the kitchen then I just flopped.  I finally
had a whole bowl of Lactaid and a bowl of ferret food.  Now I can take a
nap without my tummy grumbling .  What I need to know Jerimiah is how to
make sure this does not happen again?  It really can't be too 'spensive
we only use about three boxes a week, as we all drink it.
 
Please say Hi to all the kids.  I'm thinking of all of you.
So long for now, Casper
 
 ....... Hi Casper-
Your shelter mascot Jerimiah here!!  It sounds like you is having a bit
of dilemma there!  Must be nice not living in a cage house though!  Well
you know these human folks is PRETTY STRANGE beings sometimes.  I jest
can't always figure them out.... but this is why I try my hardest to teach
you's all how to climb the shelves and help yourself out.  Remember the
Cheerio's caper?  And remember the ferretone steal-- you DO remember how
to open the bottle right?  I showed you that specially several times!
Seems these critters just don't understand that we will surely pass away
without those foods we crave.  I never had that box Lactaid stuff so I am
not sure what I am missin' here-- hmmmm.  but if it is that special to
you-- I guess we are being deprived of one of the pleasures of ferretdom!
I will have to work on this!  As far as the Foamy fries go-- that is very
sad.  everyone knows you need the whole fry to feel like a ferret.  I am
gonna put in an emergency order to Santa Paws to see if'n we can get you a
stash of Foamy Fries.  We only get them one day a week here -- I am really
trying hard to get into the stash-- but it is outside the shelter rooms--
don't you just hate that!?  We is doing okay here-- bet you just forgot to
ask right.  Ol Disney gal has funny zipper on her belly this week, but she
is back in the shelter rooms.  We is having a Cheerios shortage here-- MOm
says no one sent any for a while-- grumble , grumble-- well the truth is
Snickers she learned how to knock the box over and we all had a dandy time
eating 'til our bellies got big-- but now there is a Cheerio shortage--
life isn't the same is it when the pleasures are gone.  Phew- I hope the
Indians send us some for the thank "full" day!  I am looking forward to it
cause we get 2 raisins that day-- you remember don't you?  Well the folks
here decided the windows are too drafty -- and Mom is tired of the blanket
drapes which don't let us see sunshine on windy days-- so they want to get
us some fancy windows that let the light in and keep the wind ou5- imagine
that!  no colds then!  There is some neat stuffs on ebay -- and I will be
sure to tell you when the new winders get here-- Maybe I can watch for
Santa out of them with no blankies in the way!
 
HUgs to you Casper -- you take care now.  I will be over to do a 'spection
there soon- and whip that hospice Mom Judy into fine shape for you!
It's the least I can do :)
 
Your friend Jerimiah!
 
Shelter ebay auctions are here:
http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?MfcISAPICommand=ViewListedItems
&userid=creativekolor&include=0&since=-1&sort=2&rows=25
[Posted in FML issue 3592]