Dooks to all!  I wanted to share a secret I learned on "helping" those
ferts who are too lazy to run to the litter box.  I have stationed, in
all corners of the house - litter boxes.  The one place (of course they
choose this above all others) that I don't have on is in our Master
Bathroom.  The demented little fuzzels greet me at the door at the end
of a long day.  Together, the 4 of us (we just adopted a spastic albino
from our local shelter - he is 4 months old) - trudge up the stairs to
the Mommy bedroom, where kisses and "rough and tumble" occur.  Then it
is dash to the bathroom for our daily "shower".  They sink their sharp
little teeth into my toes if I don't turn this on quick enough for them.
After dancing in the rain, and lappin up the puddles of water,
inevitably, they go behind the toilet (hey their close aren't they?) -
and go potty.  I got tired of daily clean ups and began to try different
things to keep my floor clean.  Started with Baby towlettes - lined up
along the back of the toilet, on the floor.  This worked well for the
older kids, however the youngest member refused to "step" on them.  So -
I used my brain, and went to Walmart - where I picked up the "puppy
training pads".  These are neat little disposable pads, with a plastic
liner on the bottom side.  Lo and behold - we have a winner!  Now,
instead of wiping their "mess" up every afternoon, I simply roll up
the used pad, and start again!  I had to cut them to fit behind the
toilet, but they still work fab!  They are a bit pricey - but definitely
worth it.
 
On the side of news: We have a new buddy for our current residents.
Helena, Romulous, meet Artimus!  About a week ago - my 10 year old and I
went to the local shelter and found the most "lazy" looking - totally
relaxed fert in the world.  He was sprawled out on his back - all four
fur feet in the air.  He peeked open one eye at us as we stood there -
and gave us the once over - yawned and went back to sleep.  My son said:
Aw, c'mon Mom - look how calm and quiet he is!  Uh-huh.  You guessed it.
Mommy fell for it hook, line and sinker.  I do believe that this fert and
my son were in cohorts together and both of them worked to deceive me.  I
agree, we fill out our adoption papers and off we go with our "calm and
quiet" fert.  I bet you can guess what happens now....get home with the
little guy - and set him on the floor.  He immediately begins to BOUNCE
UP AND DOWN LIKE A RABBIT (I swear his head spun around and he spit
greenpea soup at us - grins) - he flashed us a horrible grin showing all
his razor teeth and proceeds to dash around all corners of the house,
smacking into walls, biting the cats as he bounces by, and chases a 85
pound dog into a corner - where the poor dog cowers, whining and
shaking....dashes over to us and chomps our toes hard enough to make us
both jump- and then I swear, he looked up at me and his little pink eyes
said: HA!  GOT YOU DIDN'T I?  NOW YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE!!!!!  He has
been hell on wheels since the first day.  He bounces, not walks,
everywhere.  He has no concept of "behaving" and spends his day trying to
find new ways to torture us.  He will bounce up to you - attack your
foot, crawl up your pant legs to your shirt - scale you like a
professional mountain climber - run to the top of your head - swat you in
the face, bend over and chomp your ear - and while you are screaming and
waving your arms around in a frenzy - he leans over kisses your cheek -
and bounces down the length of your body, in search of a new victim.  I
have never, in my life, seen an animal with some much energy and spunk.
Do all albino's do this?  If so - WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER ONE!
Hehehe.  We would like to keep our toes attached to our feet and our ears
attached to our heads.  He and my son have become best friends.  How come
he doesn't torture HIM instead?  Life will never be the same......I just
know it.....lol!  Toodles!
 
Kimberly Gorman
[Posted in FML issue 3881]