STRICT, UNBENDING RULES FOR DEALING WITH STRAY FERRETS
 
1.  Stray ferrets will not be fed anything except dry ferret food.
2.  Stray ferrets will not be fed anything except dry ferret food moistened
    with  a little Ferretone
3.  Stray ferrets will not be fed anything except premium hard to find dry
    ferret food moistened with a little Ferretone
4.  Stray ferrets will not be fed anything except dry premium hard to find
    ferret food moistened with warmed Linatone, and yummy treats.
5.  Stray ferrets will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent
    residence.
6.  Stray ferrets will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled
    unnecessarily.
7.  Stray ferrets that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will
    absolutely not be given a name.
8.  Stray ferrets with or without a name will not be allowed free run
    inside the house at any time.
9.  Stray ferrets will not be allowed free run of the house except at
    certain times.
10. Stray ferrets will not be allowed free run of the house except on days
    ending in "y."
11. Stray ferrets allowed free run of the house will not be permitted to
    jump up on or dig in the furniture.
12. Stray ferrets will not be permitted to jump up on, or dig in the
    really good furniture.
13. Stray ferrets will be permitted on all furniture but must dig in there
    new corn starch pellet box custom designed by La Ferrite
14. Stray ferrets will answer the call of nature in there cage only
15. Stray ferrets will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
    high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray ferrets will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan
    with a three-panel privacy screen filled with Yesterdays News litter
    and plenty of head room.
17. Stray ferrets will sleep in cage.
18. Stray ferrets will sleep in the house.
19. Stray ferrets will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
20. Stray ferrets will sleep in the special Ferret-Komfort-Bed with
    non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
 21. Stray ferrets will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
 22. Stray ferrets will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the
    foot.
23. Stray ferrets will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
24. Stray ferrets will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers
    except at the foot.
25. Stray ferrets will not play on the desk.
26. Stray ferrets will not play on the desk near the computer.
27. Stray ferrets are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the
    desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier' dookmm4hbdm9lo9j USING IT.
 
 
Dorcus
(I am not a vet. Anything I say should never be used in lieu of a vet.)
 
Things we can learn from our Ferrets:
Allow the experience of fresh air, the wind in your face and snow on your
nose to be pure ecstasy.
[Posted in FML issue 2961]