Anonymous wrote:
>If Sandee and her follwers have a right to post THEIR beliefs it stands
>to reason that the rest of us are also entitled to freedom of expression
>when it comes to OUR belief systems, whether they conflict with your's
>or not.
 
which misses the CORE DIFFERENCE between those posts to help in mourning
and religion posts: that these are NOT beliefs.  They are FICTIONS, but
they are comforting fictions.  They just help those who are grieving to
remember the good times and that allows healing to take place, and they
do that WELL -- for which so very many of us are grateful.  The people
whose ferrets are pictured are those who have requested it because they
know it helps and appreciate that true kindness.  I have been helped by
them.  Do I believe in the Rainbow Bridge.  No.  Have such writings
helped me get past losses, anyway?  Yes, I have been greatly helped and
remain grateful.  The healing happens because they remind me of the high
points in a ferret's life.  Just because certain words are used doesn't
mean they are believed, and the power of them to heal is not dependent on
belief.  You are looking through the filter of your own beliefs and life
but failing to recognize that others do not have that same filter.  I can
understand that words like angel are loaded for you.  It is so OFTEN used
in the general public as a synonym for someone who is good or does good
or is loved.  I think mostly that just using Bill's guideline below
works.
 
Bill wrote:
>[Moderator's note: Agreed.  If you want to talk about your ferrets going
>to your version of heaven, go ahead.  But if you want to talk about what
>our version of heaven SHOULD be, or about what your religion believes
>heaven should be, then it's off topic and will be rejected unless, of
>course, it's clearly about ferrets.  BIG]
 
YES, that stays on-topic and is optimally fair for all.  You have more
than normal helpings of fairness, balance, common sense and justice,
Bill.
 
Anonymous also writes:
>Why is ok for YOU and others like you to express YOUR mode of comfort
>but it's NOT ok for the rest of us to express OUR modes of comfort?
>That is what it boils down to - FAIRNESS.
 
But it IS okay when ON-Topic and always HAS been.  There HAVE been such
posts!  There have been ministers here who did prayers for lost ferrets
to help their people heal, and I am sure that will happen again.  Those
posts were accepted and appeared.  You'll find them in the archives and
I remember them.  Those were posts which offered comfort but in their own
religious context.  They were NOT religious lessons or impositions.  If
you came along after the ministers stopped then you should not assume
that such posts haven't existed and been posted.  They have.  BUT they
were loving and comforting, kind and good, constructive and helpful posts
which had in them respect and consideration.  They weren't "I'm right and
you're wrong" diatribes, nor "I'm going to give you a religion lesson"
posts.  They were loving prayers for lost ferrets given when requested
by the people who had lost their ferrets, just as the Sandee and Sara
fictions are requested first.  Heck, Nancy's post in the Sunday FML
mentioned God but did so in a way where it was in context and on-topic,
and comments of people offering prayers for sick or lost ferrets happen
pretty well every week, and seem like they happen multiple times each
week.  No one complains.  It's just a matter of staying ON-Topic and not
imposing beliefs on others.  It is do-able.  It has been done, it can be
done, it will be done.  Just don't go off-topic and be sure to respect
that others will believe other things.  This is NOT a religion list.
 
Okay, I got grumpy.  It just seems that the same thing has been said over
and over and i KNOW that Bill HAS let in requested prayers for lost
ferrets and sick ferrets, so I just don't understand why it is ASSUMED
such posts haven't existed as long as they were requested, loving,
respectful, etc.  and stayed on topic.  The problem is NOT the nature of
helping; the problem is imposition upon others or straying from ferrets,
or both.  Personally, I think that there are enough writing skills in
place that it SHOULD be possible for the posters who are complaining to
try harder to write posts which offer comfort rather than a full sermon.
It IS possible to offer a religious comfort without an actual sermon...
If there aren't good enough writing skills there then i apologize for my
overestimation, but I really do think the individual(s) are more than
capable of doing this with a bit of care since the writing seen in those
complaints has been superb so it's just a matter of self-control and
careful re-writing to stay in the guidelines -- just as one would for
a magazine article.  It has been done, it can be done, it will be done
again.  Just follow the basic rules.
[Posted in FML issue 4362]