Hello FML - Congrats to those who place in the Spoiled Ferret Contest.
Linda Doran, you are my kind of ferret person - I too have ruined hardwood
floors and the world's most expensive and extensive idol-worship equipment
for mama's precious darlings!
 
The world's most expensive litter - Every few years or so, I treat myself to
a really expensive large Coach handbag or tote.  Last year, I purshased a
beautiful Burgandy $300.00 soft chamois leather bag.  Afraid to stain this
magnificent creation, I wrapped it in tissue and stored it on the top shelf
of one of the closets.  Last week, I decided to carry it for a special
occasion because it matched a dress.  I could not locate it on the shelf.  A
quick check on the floor of the closet found it fully covering a litter box
in the corner.  The ferrets - good babies all - had been using the purse as
a pee and poop depository.  The bag is ruined.  And I learned a lesson --
You won't have a bag to brag, if you store it in the closet where a ferret
plays tag.
 
For Hawk - I have a ferret rescue story in which stolen ferrets were rescued
from gun toting theives who did not expect me to have a gun too.  Contact
[log in to unmask] The story has been written and I gave copyright to The
Independent Voice.
 
Ferrets Using Tools - A year or so ago, I had a prize gardenia which sat on
a bookcase in a window alcove in the bedroom.  This spot was absolutely
ferret proof, or so I thought.  Honey Bun a.k.a.  Bunny, the Hun - spent a
great deal of time jumping from the corner of the bed toward the fragrant
gardenia on the bookcase.  Time after time, he tried only to fall short by
close to a foot.  One morning, I rose and stepped into wall-to-wall dirt,
broken branches and mostly eaten blossoms.  The very heavy bookcase was
pushed away from the wall about nine inches.  How, how, I wondered, did he
do that?  This of course, was after I had seriously considered ferret-acide.
After cleaning up the mess, I placed another flowering plant on the bookcase
and watched.  It took over an hour.  Lying on his side, and using his paws
and jaws and body, he first worked a small distance in pushing the bookcase
away from the wall.  Once he had a large enough space, he worked his body in
and, bracing his back against the wall, steadily pushed the bookcase
further.  He kept stopping and getting on the end of the bed and jumping to
reach the case.  Many, many pushes and jumps later - he had worked it far
enough away from the wall to reach it by an easy jump.  He has since
employed similar techniques to reach many things.  His wily friends,
specifically, Nelly, Sweet Hart, and about half the others, have followed in
his devious foot steps.  Nothing in my house is safe from ferrets.  One day
I found a piece of paper and a pencil lying on the floor.  The paper had a
few scribbles on it.  I immediately thought the ferrets had started jotting
down plans for their next project, but then thought - no.  Not possible.
Oh, Lord, surely not!
 
Regarding Ferret Heimlich Maneauver - I have successfully used this several
times.  The way I do it is similar to Bob's description in previous FML,
except it is reversed.  Rather than laying the ferret on his back with
thumbs on sternum; I drape ferret stomach down over my knee with tips of
fingers on sternum and hands around rib cage.  Whichever way you try it,
ferrets ribs and backs are very delicate.  Too hard a pressure can cause
more harm.  However, a quick, but gentle pressure squeeze can often dislodge
a foreign body from the trachea.  I have also used this technique, or a good
thump or two, with ferret draped in downward position, to get up water or
other liquid inadvertently inhaled into lungs.  I have also used a variation
of this technique to help a ferret bring up mucous congestion from the lungs
with pneumonia.  She recovered.  Will write about ferret CPR in another
issue.  Best regards to all, meg.
[Posted in FML issue 1393]