A couple months ago I lost my ferret Jubilee.  Sean happened to be by my
side during the entire ordeal.  If you recall I even had him come to the
vets with me when we put her to sleep.  He did not watch but came into the
room right before, and right after (to hold her, etc).  Its been a long
road with him comprehending all this.  It amazes me the grace he has shown
through all of this.
 
You must imagine this is a child with autism.  He knew what "died" meant
before, but he only had "his definition" of it.  Imagine that you lived on
another planet with a different reality.  That you never knew pets nor you
could die.  Then you wake up one day during your life and reality slaps you
in the face ... you are forced to face your own mortality and your loved
ones.  That is what Sean has had to work through all these weeks.
 
At times it helps me because I see him growing with this experience.  At
other times I will be fine and 'past' it all so to speak, when he has an
outburst of sadness over it.  We could be sitting down to dinner talking
about the weather, when bam..  tears.  And we have to go through it all
over again with him.
 
It's been a very natural and normal journey with him, its just been a
very slow one.  Actually the normalcy of it all has been nothing short
of miraculous for autism.  He has even been able to talk about it quite
lucidly.  But, everytime I think he's "through it", more questions,
thoughts, and emotions rise in him.
 
The other day was a conversation he began:
 
Sean:  Mommy?  What was that black thing on Little Girls heart?
Me: What thing?
S:  That bad thing on the picture.
M:  When we took her to the doctor?  The xray picture of her insides?
S:  Yeah, what was that bad thing... it killed her.
M:  It was cancer, Sean.
S:  What is cancer?
M:  It's a bad sick thing that people and even animals can get.
S:  Can kids get cancer?
M:  Sometimes.
S:  Do autistic kids get cancer?  Can they?
M:  {pause}  Yes even kids with autism can get it, but Sean it's very
    unusual to get something like that.  And Sean, not all cancer makes
    you die.  Only some unusual kinds can.
S:  Did Little Girl have that?
M:  yes
S:  On her heart?
M:  yes
  {pause}
S:  You know what I wish?  I wish Rocky won't die.  You know never.  What
    do you wish mommy?
 
Wolfy
 
Please visit:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/
for information on ferret deafness:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/deaf.html
[Posted in FML issue 3475]