The big hole left in my heart.  BamBam left me today, hopefully for a
better place, without pain, and where he could walk, play and roll over
in your funny special way again.  It all seems to have happen so fast.
Ten days ago you were fine, running, playing and stealing cheweasels from
the other ferrets.  One day you were limping.  I thought maybe you had
twisted your leg on a ramp in your cage.  Two days later you stopped
using that back leg all together, and you were making an awful rasping
noise when you breathed.
 
The vet thought maybe you had a respiratory infection so he gave me
medicine to give to you.  Oh, you hated it so much, you reminded me you
were still my big boy as you fought me with clenched jaws.  Your legs
continued to get worse, and three days later back to the vet we went.
X-rays, blood tests, urine tests and lots of hugs later the vet told me,
congestive heart failure.  He gave me new medicine to give you and said I
should have time left with you.  Maybe weeks, maybe months.  He said you
should lose another pound.  Wow, he didn't know that over the last year
you have lost 1 1/2 pounds to get to the trim 4 1/4 pounds you were.
 
I brought you home Monday hoping for the best.  Sadly not being able to
use your back legs also meant you had accidents on yourself.  I changed
your bedding often, washed you to try to keep you clean, applied ointment
to your belly to easy the urine burns, and cried.  I cried because you
were slipping away from me.  I struggled to find something, anything you
would eat.  I fed you every two hours, and I cried some more.
 
Today is Friday and it seems like it was yesterday this all started, and
you are gone.  We could not let you suffer anymore.  Your spirit was gone
today, I saw it in your eyes when I fed and held you.  I miss you, daddy
misses you, your brothers and sister miss you.  We won't forget you and
you will live on in our hearts.  I pray you are happy and comfortable
now, the awful burns on your tummy are healed and you can once again
steal cheweasels and your back legs work to carry you away fast once
again.
 
We love you BamBam
Mom and Dad
[Posted in FML issue 4066]