I recall writing a note like this one when some folks misunderstood some of
Rudy the Ferlosopher/ Bob's jokes.  Steve and I are making a donation in his
name, but maybe he'd appreciate this, too.  (Bob had broad shoulders about
retorts and more than a few laughs about them, but that didn't mean he
didn't like a bit of gentleness here or there, too.)
 
Pax on list, folks.  None of us know what all the other members are going
through at home or work; the sheer size of the FML has made that impossible
for a number of years.  We know a bit, but only a bit, about each other.
 
I know for a fact that without our knowledge and without the benefit of our
support there are people here who are coping with serious illness or deaths
within their families, both human and ferret, who have lost their jobs,
whose homes have burned or been flooded, who are horribly ill themselves.
For any of us (since we all do this from time to time -- heck, I did just a
few months ago and I certainly know better...) it is easy to miss that
there can be reasons to post sparcely, misread, have a great deal of anger
and frustration which needs a vent... for those who have suffered none of
these things from fortune or sheer inexperience it may not happen to occur
to them that others may already be dealing with about as much as they can
handle. Perhaps some think these horrors become less painful with age,
rather than the motions gone through coming more naturally and the
knowledge that this will also pass being well imbedded. The pain is still
there even though the strength is greater.  Once, I recall, two people were
banging away verbally at each other when it turned out that they both had
similar private burdens that later caused them to become dear friends; we
are sure to see that again.
 
Let's all let bygones be bygones.  Having different opinions does not mean
that one is immoral, or ignorant, or wrong.  They are just separate opinions
by people who have taken the time to consider and simply found themselves
weighing aspects differently.  It's a normal part of interacting with
others, or even looking back on our own pasts and opinions held then.  We
all have the same general goals; honor those.
 
If someone sounds angry or nasty remember that there may be things in that
member's non-FML life of which you have no knowledge and of which you would
wish to never have experience.
 
Sukie
[Posted in FML issue 2002]