hi everyone,
i feel like the biggest piece of walking human waste...i think i've lost
my DEW chloe.  i let the frets out for a free-roam playtime on sunday &
everyone immediately scattered to the four corners of the earth.
 
i saw chloe dooking, sniffing & playing around in my bedroom, turned my
back for a second & she was gone...nothing surprising, right?  that was
sunday morning...i haven't seen her since.  i gathered up all the ferrets
on sunday night & couldn't find chloe anywhere.  i went to bed & figured
she'd show up in the morning...nothing.  monday night, i tore my house
apart from basement to attic...nothing.  looked in every laundry pile,
blanket, drawer, trunk, bag, box, etc.  in the place; nothing.  searched
the neighborhood for hours on end with pockets full of treats & squeaky
toys...nothing.
 
there was a massive thunderstorm while i was out searching, and the sun
broke through right in the middle of the storm.  there was a triple
rainbow...my fearful heart thought; one for nanu, my little boy kitty who
was killed by a hit and run driver right in front of me in november 2001.
one for zeus, my foster ferret & chloe's best friend who died on my
sister's birthday in march 2002 from possible ulcers, possible insulinoma,
possible cancer; we never knew for sure.  and a third band in the rainbow
for chloe??  it was poignant, but maybe i just felt that way because i
was frantic.
 
last night i went home & repeated the whole exercise...still nothing.
the only new thing i found was a heating duct with the grate pulled off
in a ferret-free zone of my house (ferret free only because of renovations
currently taking place; it's their house not mine, so who am i to make
rules?).  so just in case, i went to the basement & unscrewed every duct
in the place, looking for my little snowy girl.  nothing.  took apart
the oil burner; nothing.  it's as if she'd vanished into thin air.  i've
called every animal pound in plymouth county, so everyone knows to be
on the lookout for her...my sister is kindly offering to canvass the
neighborhood while i am at work today.  so until something happens, i have
nothing but guilt & horrible thoughts to fill my head.  there's so many
things to think of...it's been in the forties & rainy here since sunday;
could she be cold & lifeless somewhere in the outdoors?  could she be (i
don't even want to think about this) be traversing the heating system of
my house trying to find an escape from this dark & lonely, foodless &
drinkless place?  (we've turned off the heat since sunday night...did i
mention it's been in the forties & rainy?) my neighbors to the back of me
have a huge, nasty, vicious rottweiler...and they're prodigious hunters.
hopefully she'll smell the scent of death and avoid that house, if she is
indeed outdoors.
 
and as we all can imagine, this is just the tip of the possible iceberg.
people who have tried to console me over this have told me it's not my
fault, that ferrets are just curious animals who have a penchant for
getting themselves into trouble...i know this to be true, but isn't my
role as a ferret mom to keep them from harming themselves by dint of their
innocence?  and to add insult to injury, i am a foster mom for a ferret
shelter in southeastern mass, and chloe was one of the wards entrusted
to me by the shelter mom.  i've also ferret-sat for vacationing ferret
owners, and now i feel like my presentation to them as a "ferret-proof"
person & homeowner was a complete fraud.  i can't even look my other
ferrets in the face...i feel like i've failed each and every one of them.
and i still can't even figure out if she is indoors or out; we all know
how ferrets like to hide until we call in the national guard to search
for them, so i'm (perhaps naively)hoping she's hiding in a laundry basket
somewhere giggling at me & my insane search tactics.  i am so
devastated... if everyone could just think of chloe and pray for her safe
return today, i would appreciate it.  i've done every practical thing i
can think of to help find my little girl, so now i am turning to the fml
to find impractical hope.
 
thank you for putting up with my rant...and i am so sorry to hear of
everyone's recent losses.  it is true when they say that all pets steal
your heart, but ferrets steal your soul.
 
jessica.
 
 
jessica l. manson
whimsy creative photography!
28 stafford st.
plymouth, ma 02360
(508) 747-5505
[log in to unmask]
www.whimsyphoto.com
 
[P.S.]
btw, has anyone ever had their ferrets microchipped?  i'd like to hear
from anyone who has...
 
jessica.
[Posted in FML issue 3784]