Dear Ferret Folks-
 
There are several questions I would really like to ask my ferrets and get
an answer to, like why do you make that face that makes you look like a
tube of toothpaste being squeezed with all the psycho licking after I give
you ferretone, and why must you back into a corner to do your business?
I have wondered for years.  Now I am faced with a new curiousity.
 
Why, oh, why, does Switch the Kit want the bathroom throw rug?  For what
concievable purpose?  Three times now, I have found it partially dragged
across the bathroom floor.  There are tiny tooth marks in the heavy rubber
underside of it.  It is light blue and furry, and fairly heavy, due to the
rubberized backing.  That backing catches on the lineoleum, and makes it
hard to drag.  Actually, there are three of them on the bathroom floor,
she tries to steal the one closest to the door that leads to the hall ,
and from there, presumably, to her unknown goal.
 
I know it is not Sabrina the Bat-Biter doing this.  Sabrina has had
precisely one use for the bathroom all of these years.  She slowly waddles
into the farthest corner of the floor where the scale is, and pees on it.
Being a woman, I understand.  Once a year or so I just quietly replace the
scale after one of her stealthy visits siezes the metal innards for good,
and it tells me I weigh, say, 42 pounds.  Or 300, depending upon just how
it expires.  Or both weights, in the same day.  Even now, when Sabrina has
lost her vision and can no longer read the dial, a woman knows what a
scale is.  No mystery there.
 
But the bathroom throw rug?  I have never seen her try for it, it must be
one of those really personal weasely quests, No One Must Know.  I'm
thinking about leaving it fuzzy side down for a few days, so that if she
goes for it again, the traction of rubber against linoleum won't stop her.
I imagine her with the edge of it in her mouth, grunting and tugging in
secret, as my ferret 'Don't', sister of 'No', used to drag potatos half
again her weight across the kitchen floor when she thought nobody was
looking, years ago.
 
Religious observance?  Redecorating her favourite stash spot between the
arm of the sofa and the living room wall?  (The place where she keeps her
beloved spark plug wire)  Rubber fetish?  Enquiring minds want to know.
It's freaking me out.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3806]