I thank each and every one of you for the stories you shared.  I had
tears when I was done....the story about the coca cola did me in.....my
boss walked up to me and asked me why I was crying.......this was worth
the challenge and I thank each and every one of you that participated!
*Whew* - nothing beats a big dose of laughter in the morning!
 
Here's one of all of you!  As some of you may remember, I have a ten year
old son, who is very "animalistic" (no pun intended - no children were
harmed in the testing of ferritability) - and tends to speak his mind.
I also have mentioned that we just got a "spazoid" albino from a local
rescue here in town.  Well, my dear little 10 year old, is now seeing
what I meant about "choose your ferret carefully" - and "don't take the
first ferret that grabs you by your lower lip, to use as a bungie
jump....ahem.
 
Anyways - this wonderful little albino (his name is Artimus - and damn,
it sure fits him) - decided that he can now open his cage and wander at
free will.  Last night, we discovered, not only can he open his cage -
but he can open his brother and sister's cage also.  So, off he pops over
to the other cage, where the poor, unsuspecting, "good" ferts are cuddled
in a puddle sleeping together....rips open their cage and dives at them.
After awakening and sufficiently terrorizing them, he will "nip" at them,
to get them to come out and play.  Once he rounded them up - up the
stairs they went (my husband and I watched this in the dark - so we
could find out how they were getting out) - to.....yep, you guessed it.
Zachary's room.  Slowly, they crept across the carpet, their fuzzy senses
ever alert to every snerkle and snort that a ten year old can make.....
Helena and Romulous, tried to reason with Artimus - "he sleeps too high -
way up on the second bunk"!  We'll never get to him!!!  They must have
forgotten who they were talking to.  Silently - he crawled over to the
dresser - scaled it like it was Mt. Pleasant, leapt from the top - and
landed: ON TOP OF ZACH'S HEAD.  Blood curlding shreaks eminate through
our normally, quiet neighborhood.  Lights flick on across town.  Shrieks
get louder as 10 year old launches from top bunk (oops, where were the
stairs?) - and lands - smack on his bum.  Other ferrets are now cheering
wildly as Artimus does a graceful swan dive and lands AGAIN (I swear if I
hadn't seen this - I'da called me a liar) - on stunned kids head - other
ferrets immediately join forces and attack the toes that are wiggiling
like crazy.  Ears licked, toes chomped - son flies down stairs - arms
flailing......cats run in front o him, trip him up.  Dog runs for cover -
smack into the laundry room door.  Now we have a hysterical 10 year old -
flying through house with a white hat.....oops, a white ferret firmly
attached to his head.  We have unconcious dog who was only trying to
escape - and two cats who are looking at me, like I will be their next
scratching post.  This is where it gets good kids - out the screen door
10 year old dashes......I guess.....he forgot......the heated, uncovered
pool....well, he remembered.  Too late.  Into pool - child and furry go.
 
By this time, I am useless, as I am hysterically rolling on the cement
out side.  My hero (husband) dives in the pool to save everyone.  Now we
have wet husband, wet son - who has no clue what just happened to him, we
fert who is desperately looking for a lifejacket - and hysterical mommy.
The story had a good ending though.  After removing (in the following
order) Fert, Son, then husband, all come back inside.  Dog is wandering
around shaking his head.....cats have hidden.  10 year old looks at me
and says: I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT THIS DAMN FERRET!!!!  (yeah right) -
and storms off to bed.  Husband fixes cage (wire ties) - so that our
wandering terrorizing skamp will cause us no more horror.  He takes one
look at me and says: You never told me it would be like this....and if
you bring home ONE MORE ANIMAL.......*hehehehehehehe*
 
Kimberly Gorman
Regional Translations Engineer
Cricket Communications
A Leap Company
Albuquerque NM 87107
Office:  505-872-7773
Fax:  505-872-7790
Cell:  505-228-4130
Cricket cell: 489-2470
[Posted in FML issue 3890]