Hey BIG...great idea.  Not only would I go, I would also help out.  As for
the badges, my ferrets say "Badges...Badges...We do need those stinking
badges..." (Sorry C&C)
 
Got some mail asking about interbreeding between martens and ferrets.  They
are not as closely related to the ferrets as mink or weasels, they have
different chromosome morphology and number, and I can not find a single
solitary published statement indicating it could happen.  Fishers are also
substantially larger than ferrets; their skulls are 3 to 3 1/2 inches long,
compared to 2 1/2 to 3 for the mink and ferret.  Body sizes are
proportionally larger.  The only polecat the ferret has ever reported to
have been successfully interbred with remains the European polecat, which
can't even interbreed with the steppe polecat.  I'm not saying anyone's
mistaken in thier claims; stranger things have happened.  However, without
some type of evidence, I would remain skeptical.
 
Martens, fishers and sables form their own subgroup within the Mustelidae,
much like the otters, the skunks, and the polecats, ferrets and weasels.
The American fisher has several other common names, including fitch,
fitchew, and fitchett.  These names were probably given by Europeans who
noticed their resemblance to the polecat.  So the list of animals that I
have confirmed (with references in hand) to be called "fitch" includes the
ferret, feral ferret, ferret-polecat hybrids, polecats, mink, and American
fisher.  Oh, and the fur/hair/pelt from a ferret, ferret-polecat hybrid, or
a polecat.  Polecats are sometimes called the "foulmart" or "foul marten" so
it is possible the original reference was to ferrets interbreeding with foul
martens, not the American marten.  I would have to see the evidence.
 
WARNING: BLANTANT REQUEST FOR FERRET COMPANY.  One of my trips to the west
coast will start early in May, when I drive out to do some more museum
research.  I can't justify dragging along the ferts to keep me company, so
I'm looking for FMLers to say "Drop by and hug my fuzzy." (Man, is THAT a
great straight line....no, I won't say it....But I'll think it!)
 
So if any of you ferret nuts would like to experience a little insanity, and
you are anywhere between Missouri and the Pacific Ocean, let me know and
I'll impose on you for a while.  (East coasters get the chance in late
May-early June, you lucky dogs.) Rotten and Illegal Californians are
especially urged to respond so I can spend hours denigrating the slimey and
stoopid F&G, all the while appearing witty and charming.  My west coast
stops include Sand Diego, LaLaLand, and Beserkley.  (Points north will be in
June-July).  Yes, I will be a busy boy this summer.  My life will be a
lap-top, electronic calipers, gummy bears and jolt cola.
 
If you think this is crazy, next January, I'll be going to museums in GB,
France and Germany.  I can read French and speak some German, but I'm gonna
haf to brush up on the English....
 
Bob and the 13 Amazing Rollicking Ferts
 
PS: Any shelters on the way back want to change my signature to Bob and
the 14...? (I am a ferretoholic...)
 
[Moderator's note: It might be just me and you, Bob - nobody else has shown
any interest in an FML anniversary event.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 1528]