Okay, I'm settled in better now, and so I can go back over what I wrote
about addressing small children and children with exceptional needs to
ferrets in shelter or institutionalized centers.

As I said, the likelihood of a ferret owner/protector coming across an
ill behaved child interacting with their ferret is not just high, it
is certain. The likelihood of your ferrets coming into contact with a
special needs child is higher than you can ever imagine. Autism, for
one thing, is now 1 in 100 children or higher. This disorder leaves
the child with poor judgement, impulsivity, aggression, and severely
handicapped social and language skills. ADHD is at an all time high as
well. Those children are physically hyper and highly impulsive. There
are host of afflictions out there that we as a community are dealing
with. The most pervasive however is simple behavioral problems that are
left unchecked by today's ... well, lazy parents. If you have not run
into many special needs kids and have experience with many normal kids
visiting you, well, the chances are high that either a) the parents
have not honestly disclosed everything or b) the parents, schools, nor
doctors have id'd a problem yet (and that is very common because nobody
wants to offer the almighty dollar into fixing a problem). So, prepare.

Prepare yourself with much mental practice. Visualize various
situations that you might find children in at your shelter. Mistakes.
Mishaps. Then visualize what you would do physically to intervene and
what words you would use as you do. Then visualize what to say to the
parent. Prepare for any defensive words from the parent and be ready
with a comeback. Then SAY the words out loud to yourself as you think
it over. This will give you the tools to prevent you from freezing up
in a situation. This will also give you great confidence if you tend to
loose a little backbone during confrontation. Next have a plan.

Make the plan as short and simple as possible and please leave out all
political and social correctness. Or it will never be followed.

The following ideas are very conservative, and don't consider
individual visitors, ferrets, or shelter operators, so it can be
adjusted to your liking.
 
Id the situation: Any child who would walk through a shelter's doors.
Any.

Key point: Do no assume the parents and/or child is fine. As I said too
often parents do not disclose their issues and sometimes they are not
even aware of any issues turning a blind eye to them. Do not assume the
parents will watch the child. It's an ugly thing to say, but I dare say
more than half of your parents won't lend a single hand in watching
their child appropriately while they are there.

Make a plan.
 
Bare bones plan for unplanned walk-ins:

Steps:
Part One
- Ferret owner stops both people in their tracks at the door, then
explains to the parent that what you are about to do and say is just
a standard thing you do with everyone (nothing is personal, no one is
being singled out) before they come in contact with the ferrets in
order to protect the animals as well as their child. There are no
exceptions. All must go through this.
- Sit the child down. Not standing. Have them sit down in a neutral
room where there is no TV or radio on, no people milling about and
especially no animal to take their attention. Kneel down to their
level. Get close and get that eye contact going Now, although it is
common sense to exaggerate your words and expressions to a mentally
retarded or Down's kid and it is common sense to lay back with an
overly sensitive autistic child. Don't do either. And I'll tell you
why. Far, far too many professionals are misdiagnosing our kids. It's
outrageous, but they are. And if you use the wrong approach with a
child, it will be counterproductive. So, just stay neutral. Be normal,
no huge facial expressions, no getting into their face, no speaking
loud, and also no babying them in the other extreme. Just be direct and
very cool. A very effective thing to do, is to occasionally and lightly
touch the child. Or hold one of their hands to begin with. It's a
physical cue that says, "hey". It helps draw their mental attention
back into focus. Explain to the child that in order for him to even
lay eyes on a ferret, you both have to discuss the rules and most
importantly what repercussions will happen if they slip up. And only if
he pays attention and can repeat them back can he go further. This is
something VERY important with special needs kids. Everywhere we go with
a sp needs child we do this before we walk into any situation. Even to
grocery stores. When we pull up somewhere in the car, they are not
allowed to get out of the car ... until we take a breath. We A) briefly
tell them what is going to happen, what we are going to do, what they
will see, etc. B) and list the rules. Oh my gosh, the temper tantrums
and trouble that this prevents is unreal. I can personally tell you
what a difference something this stupid makes. There are very solid,
proven reasons as to why this is such a big deal in dealing with
special needs kids. Although very interesting it doesn't matter here.

Part Two
- Rules
What rules should there be? You decide this. But they should be basic
and relate to safety. Have a place in mind to do this NOW. It'll become
rote. And as I said the shorter and sweeter the the rules are, the
better.

Ex: No jumping
No running
No stomping
No shouting
No kicking
No hitting
No throwing things
Do not touch any cages and never touch a ferret unless we offer the
animal to you and tell you it's okay.
DO have fun.  It's okay to feel excited. This is a great time! 

As you list each rule, question the child constantly.
Ex of stating a rule to the child
"There is absolutely no running or jumping in here. Just very slow
walking. Okay? Now what did I just say??"

You'll be floored that despite the good eye contact, nodding, and
saying "yes, mam", how often they can't repeat it back from the lack of
attention. It's really, really important to keep pausing and doing this
as you walk through the rules. You may want to toss in one curve ball,
or make it fun by tossing in a silly question to keep their interest.

Rewards are that they get to pet/hold a ferret, let a ferret lap up
ferretone, or something big, such as letting the child sit Indian style
in the middle of a room (one hand under a leg or their butt if you
must) while a few ferrets run about the room, or even more.

- Repercussions if rules are not followed.

What repercussions should there be for not following the rules. I know
one thing, if there are any chances handed out, there should be only
one. That should be clear when parent and child walk through the door
after your explain what will happen if the child breaks a rule. This
is when you stand up, and face the parent and explain this.

Ex of what to say when a child breaks a rule during a visit: "Johnny,
what did you just do? (have the child answer) You jumped. What did I
say? (get them to say it again). No jumping. That's it. That's your
chance. Do it again, and you'll be out of the door. For right now,
take a break, go sit in the chair for a minute and remember the
rules ......"

Think about your shelter, what can those punishments, so to speak, be
when rules are broken? What do you say when there is a mistake? What
do you say to the parents when the mistake occurs? Practice it in your
mind, speak it, better yet, type out a plan so it gets engraved in your
memory and so the volunteers can learn it. Lay it out in your mind, so
you mind does this all robotically like brushing your teeth.
 
For a normal planned visit:
Here you have time to come up with what is most comfortable for you
and\ your volunteers. To cater it to your specific shelter situation.
Obviously, the bare bones plan is the core of this one. Some will keep
the plan the same, some will add to it. For example, some people might
want to do some "training" with kids if they'd like the kids to
interact with the animals. Having a stuffed ferret at hand would be a
great tool so that the operator can give a demonstration to the child
(and parent) about how to handle them. You all could come up with
little plans as far as how to walk them through the actual structure
and take them through the motions of things.
 
The parent factor:
It's really important, given the lazy nature of today's parents, that
you take the time to firmly communicate with the parents of a child and
assertively tell them what the rules and expectations are for their
child as well as for them as a parent. Be very clear about what the
repercussions will be for not abiding by them. Then flat out, and very
cooly tell them that it is THEIR job to make sure the child follows all
steps and rules that you have in place that you are about to discuss.
That it is their job to keep an eye on things. That it is their job to
take control if things get out of control. And make it clear that if
they fudge on it? You will be the one taking control and they might
not like how you do that. Because believe me, today's parents are all
too happy to assume this will be between you and their child. That its
your job to get them through the visit. You're going to run into more
parents who will lay back and shirk their responsibility and put it
onto you, than your will an over reactive one who will get offended
easily at you telling their child what to do or admonishing them for
not doing the right things. You need to make up your mind beforehand
what your mind set is. Will it be easier for you to take total control
of the child's visit from beginning to end and to take on that sort of
role? Or is it more to your liking to force the parent to do the job,
and you take the role of supervisor? The answer is simple. You do which
ever way you know you'll stick to.
 
Oh one last thing. Yes it is your business and your right to ask if a
visiting child has special needs and what the handicap is. It's your
duty to ask if they've ever had any past misdoings with animals or
small children/babies. To ask if they tend to be physically hyper and
impulsive. To ask if they they have anger or violent issues. If the
parent acts odd about the questions, they can get the hell out, let me
tell you. Sean was violent. And I always, always volunteered that to
other parents. I told his teachers each year, 'I know Sean's condition
is supposed to be private and that you don't tell other parents what's
wrong with your students, but not only am I giving you permission to
do so, I"m ASKING you to do so for their own children's protection.
I'd honestly hope if Sean were to be in contact with a child who has
violent tendencies or is psychotic that the parent would offer that to
me".

If any of the answers to the above questions about violence,
impulsivity, hyperactivity or behavior issues are yes ..... then a
direly different route should be taken with that visiting child, IF any
route should be taken at all. Even for the most severe of situations,
"something" can be worked out however. Training with a stuffed animal,
etc, among other things is essential in those cases. In addition you
could request that the child stay out of the ferret area, seated in
a chair, and you could bring a ferret to him which you would hold in
front of them. You could use your hand on the child's hand to guide
them into stroking the animal. Like I said, I"m using overly cautious
ideas. Simple ones to give the reader a possible outline for their
own plan.

[Posted in FML 6584]