ATTENTION: EVERYBODY . . . Great News . . .
A New World's Record in Ferretdom !!!
 
Kudos to ferret TOBEY (Laurie Lasko, owner) for his stellar performance at
the Ferrets NorthWest New Year's\Vet Info Seminar and Indoor Picnic, which
took place Jan 25, in Woodinville, Washington, an annual event.
 
Tobey's run was timed to the 100th of a second over a precisely measured
25-ft course in the gym.  His best time was clocked at 3.03 seconds for a
speed of 5.63 miles per hour.
 
Tobey's speed record of 5.63 miles per hour shattered the previous world's
record of 3.86 miles per hour set by ferret Benjamin (Greg Olthoff, owner)
at Ferrets NorthWest's Ferret Frolics/Olympics (Aug 31st, '97) on the shore
of Lake Wahington in Seattle, an annual event.
 
TOBEY'S RECORD SPEED OF 5.63 MPH IS A WORLD RECORD SPEED, AND AS SUCH, TOBEY
IS DECLARED THE FASTEST FERRET IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!*
 
For the benefit of any challengers to this outrageous claim, the metric
equivalent of 5.63 mph is: 1.609 times 5.63 = 9.06 kilometers per hour.  So,
come on you Australians, Englanders, Germans, Swedes, and whomever, beat
this record speed of 9.06 km/hr, if you can.  Is an Amerikanischer Frettchen
[G.] Ferret the fastest?  Yep - looks that way.
 
*This achievement stands as of this date, in absence of any counterclaims
 made known to this author at Ferrets NorthWest FNW Headquarters, Mercer
 Island, Washington, USA.
 
Edward Lipinski, Der Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer [G.] Ferret Frolics
Leader, who wishes you, one and all:  Ferret Joy! [E.] Frettchenvergnuegen!
Edward Lipinski, Frettchenvergnuegen from the Frettchenlustbarkeitsfuehrer !
Frettchenvergnuegen [G.] Joy of Ferrets.  F...fuehrer [G.] Ferret frolics
leader.
[F]erret [E]ndowment for [R]esearch,[R]ehab, [E]ducation & [T]raining
[S]ociety, NorthWest.
[Posted in FML issue 2208]