Hey y'all!  dis be slinky de slim-o writin about somethin reel important!
i wants to tell you my story, and maybe afters you read it, den maybe a
few more of y'all will go and type a letter to the usda.  ok, here
goes...
 
Well... i was a Peterson farms fert.  i dunno if u know them, but theyre
a small farm that sells to pet stores.  i was de onliest girl in de
litter, and i was de smallest runtiest one.  i only wayed about 10ounces
or less.  well after we was shipped to de pet store, dey unpacked de
crate and put us all in a small fish tank.  dere was a towel on de
bottem, and a small bowl of food, which de boys hogged, and a small
bowl of water, which spilled.  we was dere for some days and then... i
was saved.
 
Mommy comes in to buy some litter, den comes out with me.  she sees me
in dat tank, gettin trampled on and not enough to eat or drink, and she
picks me up, lifts me out, put's me in a carrier, and den i go home.
well i still has problems.  i bites people, and de other fert is mean to
me, so mommy takes me into her room and lets me sleep in her bed until
de other slim-o-ee fuzzbutt gets used to me.  but i still bites people.
other peeps said that mommy should get rid of me, that i'd never stop
biting and making people bleed, that we'd get caught and turned in (we
were living in california at the time) but mommy trained me to stop
biting, and i did because i wanted to stay with her in my new forever
home.
 
And now i is de very same silnky de slime-o who is writing dis!!!!!!
 
doox, all from slinky
[Posted in FML issue 4983]