Today I am treating myself to answering mail and maybe I'll even get a
chance to tackle the back FMLs, at least in part.  The reason I am posting
is that in the last two days there have been mails from several people who
do not understand the severity of Meltdown's condition and who assume that
we might be considering the possibility of a future mercy shot for
convenience.  I've modified the reply to one so this can be clarified.
Don't feel bad if you were among those who misunderstood.  The FML is now so
large that it's hard to even keep up with what is happening with old
friends.
 
Also there is this sweet story: Meltdown was not eating well for me today (I
was the medicine giver meanie all day.) so I got her turkey mush with warm
water ready and Steve got on the phone from work.  I positioned Meltie by
the shallow food bowl (She's having trouble with the standard one now on and
off; she's also had to go to just having newspaper without a pot because she
can't climb in and out well enough even with the ramp pot with it's shallow
opening, and we've removed her high beds.) and held the ear-piece by her ear
while Steve told her how wonderful her food was and how much the other
ferrets wanted to steal it.  It worked.  So, if you ever see a workmate
saying strange things over the phone remember the person might be helping
someone like Meltdown.
 
There were concerns about the stress of Meltdown going to the vet and of her
wondering if we were mad at her when this happened, especially if we have no
choice but to get her a mercy shot later.  Meltdown knows us well enough to
not worry about our actions (though she hates her meds and is not above
punishing us with snubbing), plus the vet's is not a scary place for her
because all her life she's gone there on and off not only for health care
but for periodic "hugs only" visits.  Also, because her condition is so
precarious visits are now rare and we are quickly put into a treatment room,
sometimes even going in the side door if the place is crowded with other
animals which may too greatly upset her.  Meltdown's very much on borrowed
time and everyone knows it, besides she's a great favorite there.
 
Meltie has been with us since she was 5 weeks old, a Path Valley sterling
silver mitt who was not going to be sold yet but she and Steve feel so
deeply in love that they bent the rules.  (BTW, the practise at that time
there -- which may still exist -- was that all employees had to wear cuddly
feeling shirts with breast pockets to carry kits around in so they'd be used
to people.)  The first week of October she turned 8 years old.  She's a
survivor of a spleen so large it almost ruptured and a malignant
(fortunately well encapsulated so surgery was curative) adrenal tumor
several years ago.  She's a very special little girl and well spoiled but
she is in a very tough position now.
 
You see, Meltdown has an incurable cardiac condition, cardiomyopathy, and
her's began with stretching of the area which holds the "pacemaker" for the
ventricles (but very little elsewhere at first) so she was first found to
have cardiomyopathy by almost dying around 8 months ago, since a rhythm
problem of the ventricles tends to be fatal.  In fact, she was the first
ferret anyone could find any records on to be successfully treated for that
complication.  (There is now at least one more from the mail I've received.)
That is why her digitalis and Enacard levels have to be as high as they are
even though those medicines are BOTH short-term heart healthy but long-term
heart unhealthy.  Every case of cardiomyopathy is different, and from the
reading we've done we have learned that even with the same levels of care
individuals respond very differently and progress at different rates.  All a
person can do is try.
 
Now she's in the situation where she is no longer without pain and almost
all of her time is spent sleeping because her heart is just so damaged that
she is physically unable to do otherwise.  Humans with this illness tend to
feel pain from what I have been told, but ferrets don't.  The same can not
be said for the liver and kidney damage that her increased levels of
diuretics and her bouts of sudden bad ascites are causing.  If she has to
have a mercy shot it will be because of these or if her ascites begins to
smother her (also very painful).
 
We still hope that the ventricular problem will take her because all that
happens with that is that the individual gets wozzy and then passes out and
if it's bad enough passes away.  She may not be that lucky, and in that case
we'll just have to take each day or hour as it comes and give her release
when she needs it.  Sometimes all that's left is pain till death and there
comes a point when pain can no longer be managed.
 
It's one thing to cope with our own pain.  Heck, I've done a good share of
that and have the scars to prove it, but there comes a time sometimes when
the pains of others are too great and we just have to cope with the
suffering of loss to help them.  We hope Meltdown does not go there.  Maybe
she'll still be able to go gently.  We know everyone's hopes are with her,
and we are VERY grateful to the friends who have stood by us through this.
It's been a long haul and we don't know how we would have coped this far
without such wonderful people.  We also were so happy to have Bill and John
tell us about how they remembered stories from Meltdown's early days.  Such
memories can be soothing and healing.
 
Sukie
[Posted in FML issue 1774]