Hi dere everybodies, dis' is Maxie...
 
Anyways, Rosie dat pooter-hawg dat she is is seepin' or sometin', probly
diggin' to China 'gain at the door to the laundry woom.  Da is so mad at her
lately 'cause she does dat stuff you know...
 
Anyhow, 'dis here is Maxie talkin' to you's peoples, and I just wanted to
tell you's peoples a few tings or two...
 
Well, Ma and Da call me dere teddy-bear-fewwet or someting 'cause I give
good bear-type hugs and lovies, and I smile from ear-to-ear when dey puts me
up in my hammock to go beddy-bye and stuff.  I also's wraps both of my arms
'round dere ankles when I want some lovies and stuff.  Well, today I woke Da
up from a nap and he let me nibble on his arms for a while.  It was great
fun!  You see's, I like to tenderize the skin wis my teethsiz' for a while,
like I'm gonna eat a big turkey-type dinner or sometin', but it's weally
jus' lovie-stuff you knows.
 
So, as Forrest Dook says, Dat's all I gots to says 'bout that!
 
Anyways, Wosie, my sifter, is gettin' more bewful each and evewy day you
know, Ma says she's like some long-stemmed wose or sometin'...
 
So, I am gettin' mawwied to Tater, in cases you's FML peoplesiz was
wonderin' which of the whom's was marriwing whom or someting like dat you
know...well, dis' Maxie-girl is mawwieing
Tater, dat handsomest of all dem dere fewwet boyz out deres...
 
Anyways, Wosie says dat when her boy-fewwet Odie done gets hitched to her
ball-and-dat-chain-ting dat he can no more read dem PlayKitty
magazines...and also, Wosie wants to help Odie-wodie wreak havoc-stuff on
Thor, dat kitty kat.  Wosie is good at causin' twubble too you know...you
tell her not to do sometin' and she does it anyways, tirty-six times more or
so jus' to show you who's da Mom 'round here or sometin'.
 
It's weird, an' I don' quite unnerstan' it too much anyways, but dat wittle
Wose, my sifter, can do fine witout me for long times, but you trow me in da
condominium or take me to dat bad doctor person and I get all lonely and
give Wosie extra kisses and snuggles when I finally sees her 'gain, and she
says, "Get off me Massie, you need a fewwapist or sometin' you's bein' so
clingly..."
 
So, as you can deductionize, we has two vewy dislinked personalities or
sometin' like we was totally diffewent fewwets or sometin', can you imagine
dat?  Anyways, who da heck are all of dese people?  Ma?  Who are all of dese
people weedin' dis FML ting?  (One paw on hip, other paw extended, elbow
bent, palm up, open, sincere eyes)
 
Well, I sink dat I should be get going now, 'cause Da wants to type some
stuffz on dis here pooter-ting, so I'll say bye-bye for now...
 
I love you Tater...
 
Maxie  =)
 
P.S.  You should see someting following dis' dat says "End of FEWWET MAILING
LIST".... cause we is at da back of da bus now, but Martin Wuther Fewwet,
Jr.  is gonna pweech for our fweedom or someting...so you's might sees us
'gain in da middle of dis' ting 'gain!
[Posted in FML issue 1618]