Hello, my name is MS.  Mousie, I am a ferret, now what I need you to do, is
go get your ferret, this post is for ferret eye's only....NO peeking
please..Thank You I will be post the rest of my book in stages as FML says
it is too long for one post....silly hoomans, is the ferret here now, well
lets begin
 
The Ferret Handbook
 
And Point Values
 
   (For Ferret Eyes Only)
 
1.  Never let the slaves know the rules.  And don't let them know they
are slaves.  Call them "2 legs" or "humuns" Keeping them guessing.
Keep the Handbook secret at all costs.
 
2. All socks, shoes, and those expensive orthopedic things must be hidden
and chewed if they are well worn and tasty, three points.  (Ten extra
points if the 2 legs are wearing them at the time!)
 
3. Never let the 2 legs ignore you!  If they are watching the picture box,
put your head under their pant leg and crawl up the leg (this will get
their attention right away, especially if paws are cold or wet).  If they
are sleeping, go for the toes, or put your nose in their ear and lick, go
for the brain.  They will wake up real fast either way!  (1 point for every
foot they jump)
 
4. Leave no plant unburied!  Remember that all the roots must be out of
the pot!  (2 points, you get 5 extra points if the dirt is off the roots.)
Now the 2 legs usually start talking (real loud and fast if you have done a
good job) about the "Sun-River-Bridge" at this point, but don't worry.
They're not going fishing; they say this a lot if you follow the rules,
especially if you have a high point day.  Sometimes the 2 legs put rocks on
the soil to stop you (chuckle, chuckle, chuckle and a dooks or two).  With
a little persistence and some hard work, you will overcome (The bigger the
rock the more points you add.)
[Posted in FML issue 2784]