Hi Guys!  It's us again - Tater and Odie.  The old Geezer has 4 days off so
he letted us have a little pooter time this morning.  Gives us a chance to
share a couple of our recent adventures with you.
 
It seems that this nice lady who just had a baby got home from the hospital
and found that her air conditioner was all broked.  She called a bunch of
air conditioner fixit folks but none of them could get to her for over a
week.  One of them suggested that she have it checked out by an electrician
in the meantime to make sure that it wasn't a 'lectric problem.  That's how
our Paw Paw got involved.
 
Sure 'nuff, he found some 'lectric stuff that was burned slap up and
replaced it all.  The air conditioner still didn't work.  He coulda' told
the lady to wait for the other guys 'cause his job was done.  Instead, he
spent about an hour crawling around under her house and fixin' places where
her 12 dawgs had done chewed up the thermostat wire.  That got the thing
working and the lady was very happy.  The Old Coot was kinda pleased too.
He was covered with the red stuff that passes for dirt here in Georgia and
was drenched with sweat.  Mee Maw made him peel out of his nasty ol' uniform
as soon as he came in the front door.  That's when she seen them.
 
He wears these funny lookin' white surgical stockings when he works 'cause
he's had a lot of trouble from something called 'fleabitus', or something
like that.  They were covered with crawly black things.  Mee Maw and Paw Paw
just about throwed a fit when they seen them.  Paw Paw come out of them
faster than we had ever seen him move before!  Mee Maw took them out back
and burned them.
 
Anyway, the Old Guy got his bath and things settled down at the Schieman
Estate.  We forgot about the whole incident.  After all, there were treats
to be had, tummy scritches to be appreciated, dances to be danced and Mee
Maw's nightgown to play tag in - with her in it.  The next morning was a
whole different matter!  We woked up feelin' like 8 gazillion invisible
nightmares was tryin' to eat us alive!  We ain't never itched so much.
Tater jumped up on Paw Paw's chest and, between scratches, said, "Hey, Dad.
I think we gots us a serimous problem here!"
 
Him and Mee Maw stumbled from the bed and went about their usual morning
routine.  We think it's something called a 'Japanese Coffee Ceremony' but we
ain't sure.  We felt abandoned to our misery.  Odie was so disgusted that he
pooped on the Ol' Fert's flip flops.  Take that!
 
Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open and Mee Maw grabbed Odie up and took
him from the room.  Tater thunked that they must have seen him doin' the
poopoo thang on some hidden camera and that it was curtains for poor lil'
ol' Odie.  He was even more distressed when the door banged open again and
Paw Paw snatched him up and toted him off.  What Tater saw next almost made
his whiskers fall off!  Mee Maw was holding Odie over the toilet!
 
"Oh, Gawd!" Tater thunked.  "She's going to FLUSH him, just because he flip
flopped on Paw Paw's poopoo - whatever." Needless to say, we were both
terrified.  Then the most wonderful thing happened.  Mee Maw started combing
Odie very gently.  As she lovingly stroked the comb through his fur,
zillions of creepy black things fell into the toilet.  Then she rubbed him
all over with some kinda powder stuff.  It didn't smell so good but Odie
enjoyed the loving immensely.  Then it was Tater's turn.  More zillions of
the black thangs fell into the toilet and Tater received the same smelly
loving that his buddy had received.
 
After that, we were returned to our bedroom sanctuary.  We was treated,
feeded, loved and watered.  The room looked kinda strange 'cause all the
makin's were gone from the bed and there weren't no clothes lyin' around all
over the place.  The room smelled kinda funny too.  That was OK with us
'cause we wasn't itchin' so bad anymore.  Life settled down to it's usual
pace again.
 
We was gonna tell you about our adventure when we got locked up in Mee Maw's
secret underwear drawer.  Guess that'll have to wait till next time.  This
letter has gotten pretty long and we don't want BIG, or his cyber-fert,
LISTSERV, to fuss at us.
 
Guess the moral to this story is: When Mee Maw makes Paw Paw get nekked in
the living room, somebody in the house is in for one heck of an adventure!
 
Many much hugs, kisses, loves and dooks. Special loves to anyone who ain't
feelin' so good right now. Watch out for those crawly black things. Later,
 
Tater and Odie
[Posted in FML issue 1580]