Dear Ferret Folks-
 
I have met Linda Iroff, and I can assure you that there are NO fleas on
Linda Iroff.
 
I spent some time with her in Louisville at the BFF convention earlier
this year, and she did not scratch once, not even those surreptious
little skritches that you hope nobody notices, and certainly not one of
those EMERGENCY!  scratchfests where you suddenly hurl yourself on the
floor and kick yourself madly on the head or neck with your back foot
(that would present her with a special challenge, as her hair is so
long, she could get her toes tangled in it), or begin to gnaw on yourself
desperately.
 
Linda is long and lanky, and quite capable of kicking herself in the
head with a back foot to ease the itchy agony, or gnawing on her flank
(her teeth appear to be her own) but it simply DID NOT HAPPEN.
 
I was in her hotel room, and I saw no evidence of fleas or flea dirt in
the room, on Linda, her room-mate, or on her SpokesFerret, the lovely
Miss Cassie.
 
These vile insinuations must end.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 5310]