Oh, Ferret Folks!
 
Horror of horrors!  I learned from Mary's post yesterday that I am FULL
TO BURSTING with evil free radicals, angry little atoms with issues like
the super oxides, hydroxyls, and peroxides.  I just know I'm a human
powder keg, because these hateful things are found in STORED FAT
MOLECULES, which I have in great, sleek abundance.  Mary notes that
burning stored fat molecules for energy liberates these little monsters,
so that they can do their damage.
 
I am an educated consumer now, and I have a clear choice.  I can either
subsist on fish liver oil, rose hips, and leafy green sheep food OR I can
preserve my stored fat molecules.
 
Hmm, what to do, what to do...agony-agony-agony, gotta make a choice...
 
I know, I resolve to eat half a bag of Hershey's chocolate kisses every
morning when I sit in this soft chair and read my FML!  Not only are they
tasty and attractively packaged, but they preserve my God-given stored
fat so that I am not overwhelmed by free radicals and go up in a burst of
flame!  (One can also roll the little silver foil wrappers up into shiny
pellets and build tiny pyramids out of them if you have a steady hand,
always a plus!)
 
Thanks, Mary!  The great Cod of the icy Massachusetts Bay waters can
sleep safely now, knowing that I don't seek his plump, oily liver for
myself.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 3891]