Howdy Folks!
 
How ya'll is?  We is be just fine our ownselves.  We is havin' ourselves one
heck of a good time on this here Fourth of July day.  The Old Folks gotted
up really late this morning.  Mee Maw boughted a bottle of spoilt grape
juice last night.  Her an' Paw Paw done sat up till midnight drinkin' the
nasty stuff.  Guess they didn't wanna leave none for us and the cats to get
into.  Paw Paw looked kinda green when he tried to get up this morning.  Mee
Maw didn't look much better but she at least managed to get out of the bed.
We chewed on the Ol' Fert's fingers and toes until he got up and put that
hawg critter on the smoker.  He allowed as to how it would take more than a
day for the critter to get cooked just right.  He putted a big ol'mess of
hawg bones on the upper rack so's we could have somethin' to eat today.
 
Then he done smeared some secret sauce all over the hawg parts and crawled
back into the bed.  He done kept moanin' that his head hurt and his belly
ached.  He also vowed that he was gonna get even with Mee Maw for sittin' on
his chest and makin' him swallow all that grape juice stuff.  He sure can be
a big ol' baby sometimes.
 
Anyway, we is havin' us one fine ol' holiday.  Mee Maw done gived us both a
bunch of raisins and Ferretbites.  We made real sure to leave lots of crumbs
on Paw Paw's side of the bed.  He still ain't up but we hopes that he rolls
over real soon.
 
Mee Maw taked us for a walk in the backyard.  It's still a pretty neat place
to explore but somebody done cutted down all the nice weeds that we used to
play in.  Paw Paw's smoker thing was sendin' all kinds of pollution into the
air.  It sure did smell good though.
 
Then we helped Mee Maw to put a flag thing up in the front yard.  She tolded
us all about what it meant.  We sure is lucky to be able to live in a
country that has such a neat flag, and all the stuff that it stands for.  We
was about to get all misty-eyed when we spied a flutterby that just had to
get chased and played with.
 
The Ol' Fert still ain't up.  We finger that he will crawl outa' the bed
just in time to munch on some of them hawg ribs.  Mee Maw told us both to be
very careful around the Old Guy today.  He has a big ol' play bone in him
and she's afraid that he might just try to turn us into Tater Crackers and
Odie Rockets.  We done seen fireworks back on New Year's Day and they sure
is pretty.  We just hopes that Paw Paw will go to the store and buy some
this time.  The cats don't like it too much when he lights their tails and
turns them into Cat Crackers.  We don't think we'd like it too much if he
tried to do that to us.  At least Mee Maw is lookin' out for us.
 
Y'all have a great holiday weekend.  Don't forget to remember what it all
means.  Well, some guvment folks in California still have a ways to go.  We
finger that they will come around eventually.
 
We gotta go.  Mee Maw done boughted a package of carrot seeds to plant.
Seems that Rosie and Maxie wasn't satisfied with the wings we sent to them.
Now they want a whole bunch of carrots.  We ain't sure what 'gold' is but
we'll plant some just as soon as we get some gold seeds.
 
We really gotta go now.  We just realized that plantin' stuff involves
playin' in the dirt again!
 
Many much loves and holiday salutations,
 
Tater and Odie
[Posted in FML issue 1622]