Last November, we adopted two rather rambunctious boys, Ham (Hamilton
Theodore) and Cheese (Charles Xavier Cheesepuff) from our local shelter
along with their little furry caregiver, Dora (theAdorable). This is
about Ham and Cheese and their favorite Appetizers........ We'll tell
you a bit about Dora later.

Now...
I love fresh veggies as appetizers or anytime for that matter.. Just
love them, Never met a veggie that I didn't like . Country girl, I know
it....ah well.... I know what I am.......At least I did, until Cheese.
Now, I know, I am the appetizer....

I innocently get all my veggies rounded up. my knife, my cutting board
a bag for Piggies parts, (being a guinea pig, she isn't fussy and loves
the celery tops) and a bag for compost. I head for the table to do what
has always been a relaxing chore for me..... the chopping of the
veggies.

Now, there are some fuzzy individuals that cannot stand solitude, peace
or quiet in any form. I'm not mentioning any names, Cheese, in case you
have a lawyer lined up. My son in his infinite wisdom introduced Cheese
to my socks, not the empty ones, the ones with wiggly toes and they
squeak when you bite them ....or something..... or someone.....
squeaks..... great fun.... you see where this is going...... I am
innocent, I tell you.... I will state so in the courts.....

I'm doing the veggie thing in the kitchen. My son comes home from school and
lets his pal and his buds out. I hear the T.V. go on they are in the living
room , life is good. Little did I know.......

Cheese remembers socks..... ooooh the squeak is too irresistible... the
smell of fresh toes.... an unsuspecting toe-toting momma. He pads up
the hall. I think nothing of it as I hear him and his pals doing the
rounds through the family room, the bath, and visiting the other ferty
cage. Ham, Cheese's brother, comes over to me, quietly lifts my pant
leg and places his cold little nose on my leg in greeting. " Hello Ham
boy!" "S'up dude?", Ham moves on after greeting.... to busy, and if you
stop too long, the Momma-thing will pick you up, smothering you with so
much lovin' that you'd have extras for weeks.... can't have that, he's
a guy after all...... not too much of that sissy stuff!! Cheese comes
in, sniffs my foot......I'm suspicious..... "hello Cheese...whatcha
doin?" He looks up at me, irresistibly cute, little pink nose tipping
his mutt colored fuzzy bod. "just sayin' Hi Mom' OOOOOOH
KAAAAY.........right.............

I keep chopping
too much peace
Too much quiet

Hmmmmmmmmm Cheese sniffs my toes through my socks. I am careful not to
move... no enticement necessary. He acts like "No, I really don't need
a toe today. I shouldn't, but..... on the second thought....who am I
trying to kid? Toe appetizers are my favorite!!!" He skips the smaller
toes and carefully wraps his fuzzy mouth around my big toe. And then
he bites down! "Cheese!!!!!!.......Brent!!!!! come get your little
turkey-butt!!!!!!!!! I try to shake him off. He isn't biting hard, just
enough to hold on and enjoy the carnival ride complete with Momma
calliope music! My son comes in, laughing, "you are not helping! don't
encourage him' I fuss. "What, I didn't send him!!!", he states still
laughing. I ponder my procreation decisions........

Cheese finally lets go. I step on the toe of my sock.... ( I never have
been a fan of socks, or shoes for that matter, unless I have to go
public) I think maybe he'll be happy with just stealing my socks, my
toes will be safe....but you know theories, they never survive contact
with reality........

Cheese comes back just as I have gone back to minding my own business.
My veggies call. He puts a cold nose on my foot. this seems to be a
common greeting from all my ferts. I think nothing of it until he heads
towards my toes.... You would think....socks 8 flags, no socks two
flags less fun huh? no way..... not to Cheese.... no socks mean that
you have opportunity to shop for the best appetizer.......which he
does...sniffing each toe and returning to the pinky toe.... smaller...
more tender.... can get his fuzzy little lips.... (do ferrets have
lips?) ....he once again wraps his fuzzy mouth around my pinky toe very
gently and then bites down, not hard, and tries to steal my toe... yes
he's backpedaling.......as I yell once again to my laughing, disowned
son, to disengage his fuzzy from my little toe asap!

Anyone watching would have thought I was certifiable.... sitting in
a kitchen chair, yelling, a ferret clamped to a toe that he believes
belongs to him, my head practically in my pile of veggies, my son
laughing, my daughter, also now disowned, coming in from school to
join the laughter. Yep get that little white jacket with the extra
long sleeves, folks......

I abandon thoughts of veggies, pack them up refrigerate, and head for
the sofa, where I can put up my feet, let the adrenalin dissipate, and
relax........

My feet are safe.... I think.........till I look down....... Cheese
eyes me from the floor............... Booger!!!!!!

All this ended with a stealth tickle attack aimed at the little
tormenter from the Momma-thing......Cheese then went about rough
housing with his buddies, and seeing how much chaos they could cause.

Cindy and the Slightly Used Ferrets (9)
Do good stuff, even a little adds up over time

[Posted in FML 6881]