Chapter 5:  Scrooge
 
     "What's next on the agenda?"  Wiggles asked Santa, as they flew further
south after delivering gifts to all of Canada.
     "We go to the United States,"  Santa replied.  "Of course!"  So, they
began their rounds of giving out presents to little boys and girls all over
the states.  As usual, time seemed to stop dead in it's tracks as they
spread joy and light to all of the homes they encountered.
     "Who lives here?"  Maxie asked, as they landed on the roof of a very
old and weather-beaten, unkempt, downright run-down shack which someone who
lived within called his or her house.
     "Well,"  Santa answered.  "Let's say that it is an old friend of mine."
     "Why did he board up the chimney?"  Rosie asked.
     "Wait, there is something written on top of the wood,"  Shiva stated,
reading the sloppy writing on the heap of long boards.  "It says 'Go away
Santa!'"
     "That's not very nice,"  Wiggles commented.
     "Help me get these old planks off of here,"  Santa requested, as he
began prying the wood off of the chimney.  "Watch out for the nails!"
     "Why doesn't this man like you, Santa?"  Sammi asked sincerely.
     "He has had a hard life,"  Santa informed her.  "His wife and children
died in a car accident about thirty years ago, and he has lost faith in
everything that is good and hopeful.  It is a very sad thing..."
     "Oh,"  Maxie said.  "That's terrible!"
     "Yes,"  Wiggles added.  "We've got to do something to help him!"
     "Believe me,"  Santa replied, climbing into the open chimney.  "I've
tried.  There is just no getting through to him!  But every year I still
bring him gifts to try to cheer him up."  The ferrets followed him into the
dark hole.
     "Hold it right there, fat man!!!"  A voice shouted from the room as
they reached the floor of the fireplace.  "Move a muscle and you are all
buzzard-bait!"
     "Hold your horses!"  Santa shouted back at the man, who was standing
with his old, tired legs spread wide, a shotgun pointed right at them.  He
was wearing ripped, dirty longjohns and mismatched socks.  The room was in
complete disarray, covered with dust and dirt.
     "I'm the one giving orders here!"  The old man commanded, waving the
gun around a bit.  "Put your grubby hands up in the air!"
     "Fine!"  Santa replied, doing as he was instructed.  "Please don't hurt
the ferrets!  They are innocent.  It's me that you want, isn't it?"
     "Yes!"  The filthy man answered.  "I've been waiting for this moment
for years!  I fell asleep the last time that you trespassed into my house
and spread your stinking "presents" all over my living room!  Look around!
You don't see a tree or any decorations, do you?  You know why?  Because I
don't believe in Christmas!!!"
     "That is your choice,"  Santa offered, trying to cool him down.  The
ferrets snuck one by one from behind Santa.  The man with the gun didn't
even notice that they had come up behind him, because his full and complete
attention was focused on his enemy:  Santa Claus.
     "Yes!"  The sourpuss continued.  "It is my right as a citizen of the
United States of America to practice any form of religious or ceremonial
institution that I so desire...and that means:  NO CHRISTMAS!!!"
     "Take this!"  The ferrets yelled as they jumped onto the man's back
from behind and knocked him to the floor with a thud.  His shotgun went
flying.  Santa quickly snatched up the rifle and took the shells out of it.
He tucked the ammunition into his big, black boots and grinned.
     "Mister..."  Sammi asked the old man that they were all standing on top
of.  "Why are you so mean?  Why don't you believe in Christmas?"
     "Because it's all hogwash!"  The man answered.  "It is a plot created
by toy manufacturers to poison the economy of honest tax-payers like yours
truly!  Santa Claus is a fake!  He is a Communist!  He is just some big, fat
guy in a red costume with a helicopter that everyone thinks is some magical
wonder of the world!  They got one of these guys in every town across the
globe!  I saw a special on it on TV!  I'll bet you that his beard is even
fake!"
     "Ouch!"  Santa yelled as the man pulled his beard.
     "Well,"  The fuddy-duddy continued.  "I'll bet he doesn't even have any
reindeer outside!  "Santa," want to show me your reindeer?"
     "I didn't bring them this time..."  Santa replied.  "They are ill."
     "See!"  The old scrooge responded, jumping up and down in triumph.  "I
told you that it's all a lie!"
     "I brought along these ferrets this Christmas!"  Santa explained.  "I
sprinkled magic dust on them and they pulled my sleigh from the North Pole!"
     "Prove it!"  The old man suggested.  "I have got to see this!"
     "Fine,"  Santa declared.  "To the roof!"  They all climbed back up the
chimney and to the top of the house.  The girls strapped themselves into the
harnesses, and Santa and the "scrooge" climbed aboard the sleigh.  "Watch
this!"  Santa said.  "Take it away, girls!"
     "Here we go!"  Rosie announced, as the ferrets ran quickly, pulling
sleigh behind them as they approached the end of the roof...
     "We're gonna die!"  The disbelieving man shouted, covering his eyes.
     "Hold on!"  Maxie stated, as they soared into the air with one swift
and smooth motion...
     "My Lord!!!"  The "scrooge" stated, as he saw the tiny lights of his
town twinkling far below...
     "I thought that you didn't believe in God?"  Santa kidded him, laughing
with all of the wonderful mirth in his great, big heart!
     "These ferret-critters are pretty neat!"  The converted man said.  "I
think that I would like to have one as my friend!"
     "Do you mean that you believe in presents?"  Santa replied.
     "Yes,"  The man answered timidly.
     "Well,"  Santa offered.  "Let me see what I have here in my bag for you
this Christmas!"
     "Oh boy!"  The "scrooge" announced in childish glee as Santa handed him
a joyful, baby ferret from the sack.  "This is the best Christmas ever!"
     "You take good care of that little baby!"  Wiggles demanded.
     "Don't worry!"  The man replied.  "I will go to the pet store in the
morning and buy a book on how to care for him!  Wow!  How can I ever repay
you all?!"  The baby ferret kissed the "scrooge" all over his unshaven face,
and put his tiny, wet nose in his new daddy's ear.  "Oh,  I love you too!"
The man cooed to the fuzzy.
     "Well,"  Santa answered, grinning.  "For starters, you can repay me by
keeping those blasted doors off of your chimney!!  How do you expect me to
bring toys for your new baby next year?!"
     "Deal!"  The "scrooge" said.  "You're going to sleep with me tonight,
my new, baby ferret!"  He snuggled his furry companion all the way back to
his rooftop, where Santa and the girls dropped him off.
     "Merry Christmas!"  Sammi shouted to the man as they flew off.
     "Merry Christmas!!"  The man called out as he watched Santa and his
flying ferrets disappear into the darkness.  He stood on the roof for many
hours and thought about his life for a long time.  He decided that he was
going to start over.  "After all," He said to himself, "Today is the first
day of the rest of my life!  I don't have any more time to waste!"
 
     (to be continued, see http://home.aol.com/wildsidepu or write to
[log in to unmask] to order your own copy of the entire story, which
will be finished very soon and ready for shipping!)
[Posted in FML issue 1772]