For immediate release: Shelter in Cleveland surrenders.  FLO members
celebrate a victory -
 
After a month of long, loud poop wars, local ferret shelter director
surrenders to her personal ferrets.
 
Says the hooman: " I got tired of the separate play times, so I let them all
out together in their room, I figured they'd get over it.  I was wrong."
 
We suffered great indignities, baths, bitter apple, being held with each
other without fighting (we know hooman laps are neutral territory), no
treats.  But we won.
 
The first step in our strategy was simple, whenever a hooman was in hearing
distance, make a great deal of racket, poof a lot, and leave trails of poop
everywhere.  We mean EVERYWHERE.  That makes them scrub the floor, to keep
our little feet clean.
 
After the first week of our strategy, we implemented stage two and stage
three.  Stage two was to get along fine and play when we were allowed in the
shelter room, stage three was to fight at night, dump the food bowls, dig
out the lock crocks of food and water, and find ways to disengage the water
bottles, while the hoomans sleep.  Three or four o'clock in the morning got
the best reactions.  We believe this turned the tide in our favor.
 
We knew victory was at hand, when at four o'clock in the morning Saturday,
we made the loudest ruckus ever - we made it sound like we were killing each
other (of course we weren't - we know better), in ran the female hooman,
jumping over the barrier that keeps us from the rest of the house, to land
bare foot in a fresh poop mine.  (Fresh poop mines are very slippery)  She
skidded and fell, face first into a litter box full of fresh poop.  (When we
heard her running in the hall, we all ran to hide, we all found a safe zone
for the action that was to follow.)
 
The following day, some of our demands were met.  The cages were set back up
the way we wanted them.  And the floor was scrubbed and mopped.  Then our
regular rotation started again.  We also have on our list of demands, more
treats, and our own puter so we can contact other FLO agents, but so far we
haven't received it.  She mubbled something about can't afford it, would
have to get a second job.
 
We had won, and as each of our groups got out celebrated and weasel war
danced.  We even got token raisins, and ferretone as peace offerings from
the hooman.
 
We are currently trying to convience the shelter ferrets that they don't
need to all play and sleep together.  There are seven currently.  We are
also trying to convince Sideny that a mink is not a ferret, therefore, not a
valid FLO member.  Even though she acts, dooks and thinks she is a ferret.
But that seems like a lost cause.  We may end up making her an honoray FLO
member.  After all, she can steal a small box of rasins from a hoomans back
pocket.  We will have to debate that.
 
Keep up the faith fellow FLO members.  We will be victorius over these
hoomans everywhere.
 
Until our next report,
 
Garbonzo w/No Beans, Justice, Sniper, Simba, Hawkeye,Storm, Obession by
Ferret, Kish Czar, Esik a Ho Vadazmenyet, Maznoone, Bandit, Trouble,
Sebastian, Ripley, Bonnie, Pierre, Fargo, Archie, Giavonni
[Posted in FML issue 2300]