Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Recently my little sister (29, but always little to me) became engaged to
a very nice young man.  They always seem nice, at first.  But you never
know.
 
I decided to test him.  I left him alone in the ferret's room with Sabrina
the Bat-Biter and her young friend Switch the Kit.  He had never been
alone with ferrets before.  He had seen mine from a distance, but this was
new.  I moved down the hall to the computer room, left the door open a
crack, and got on-line.  All the while I was checking my e-mail I was
listening.
 
After about three minutes I heard the crackle-crackle of a two handled
plastic bag, one of the ladies favorite toys.  Then a bit later I heard
the distinctive rustling sound of the huge, empty twenty pound bag of cat
food that I keep on their floor.  ("Special-Kitty" brand from Wal-Mart,
my dog loves this brand above all others.  She is special indeed, and
disdains dog food.) They dearly love their empty cat food bag.  It smells
good and two can hide inside of it together.  Best of all, it makes really
cool noises if a human grabs a corner and gives it a good shaking.  I was
hearing that noise.
 
So far, so good.  it sounded as though the ladies were teaching him how to
play quite effectively.
 
Finally, I heard something that baffled me.  Muffled shouting that
sounded like a man's high pitched, falsetto voice yelling "Weekie-weekie!
Weekie-weekie!" I hustled myself down the hall thinking "Oh, my GOD, WHAT
HAVE YOU WEASLES DONE TO THE BOYFRIEND!?"
 
Imagine this.  A six-foot four man sitting cross-legged on the floor of
the ferret's room, surrounded by fur mice and little plastic balls with
bells inside.  Apparently attached to his face is a flexible silver
dryer-vent hose, maybe five or six feet long.  It hangs down to the floor
and is thrashing vigorously, seemingly alive like some psychedelic
elephant's trunk in great distress.  His eyes closed, his whole face
scrunched up with effort, he is bellowing "Weekie-weekie!  Weekie-weekie!"
down the hose to the now potentially deaf ferret inside who is just LOVING
this.
 
O.K. He passed the test. She can keep him.
 
Sincerely,
Alexandra in Massachusetts
 
Switch the Kit: "What does 'Weekie-weekie' mean, aunt Sabrina?"
Sabrina the Bat-Biter: "I can't heeeeaaar youuu!"
[Posted in FML issue 3676]