As usual I'm behind on the news. I somehow missed Kevin's post about
world travelers and of course could not find it in my inbox or in my
trash so I had to ask a friend to send me the issue with the offending
remarks. She sent it - I read it.

I read Kevin's post AFTER reading Bob's reply. Even armed with Bob's
words assuring me that he must have been attacked, I did not read
Kevin's post as sarcasm and like Bill I had to read it a second time
to make sure I put a sarcastic slant on his words.

I do not know who Kevin is - never met him, never talked to him. So
maybe others know something that I don't know - that Kevin hates Lori.
One can only wonder why - would it be jealousy? No Kevin I'm not saying
you are jealous or that you have ill feelings toward Lori - I truly
don't know, but I do know of others who have expressed that negativity
and others who do first assume the worst; then second try to find good
in a person or their post ...

and maybe Kevin has an assundry of other issues, like having to make
ugly remarks and assume the worst about people (no one on this list
EVER does that do they? you know jump on the bandwagon from Hell - stir
up all the hate and discontent they can because THEY are offended -
misery loves company and the company does not think for themselves but
play a childish game of follow the leader) so maybe it was meant ugly -
it just didn't read that way to me the first time I read it, even after
having read Bob's reply.

Kevin now has responded and said that he's sorry his post caused such
an uproar and was uncatagorically misunderstood. Even if he meant his
words harshly, which he says he didn't, an apology is an apology...
maybe we can put away the bar-be-ques and pitchforks, stow the tar
and feathers and forgive him this time.

This part is rhetorical - look it up

What I do wonder is WHO these people are that got Bob in such an uproar
over the message. What instigators are thine? Like as not Bob too did
not read any mal-intent in Kevin's words until SOMEONE (several
someones - the grapevine is alive and well?) clued him in to THEIR way
of thinking.

For futher reference for those who do not know... autoimmune diseases
are not only responsive and DEADLY to lack of sleep and other physical
stressors on the body, but also mental and emotional STRESS... words
sent to alarm, upset, anger or sadden can create a deadly situation -
this being accompanied with nearly unbearable pain. YES UNBEARABLE
PAIN.

To say it more directly - stop sending messages to Bob that are
negative or disagreeable! If you want to blow up go ahead, but keep it
to yourself. Misery does love company, but you could end up alienating
that company or killing him/her, including Bob. Before you act as a
good buddy(instigator), consider how long you want Bob with us before
you clue him in to your way of thinking. YOU ARE HURTING BOB - not
helping! GOSSIP

There is an old adage - If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at
all. If you are so inflamed that you feel you must say something and
just cannot control yourself, then reply to the poster and ASK, don't
accuse, if s/he meant his/her post meanly/negatively. Try to take the
high road for awhile, the low road is mighty crowded down there and I
think it is the cowards road.

Surely it has not escaped anyone's attention that many, many good
people no longer post to the FML. This is not an accident in many cases
- it is not, "Oh well I've moved on". The hate that has flowed here is
oppressive. While I still refer newbies to this list I now do so with a
caveat - Buyer Beware. There's monsters in them their waters! Are YOU
one of those monsters who has to back bite and cat scratch when you
don't like a post. Internal reflection may be in order here.

Bill has said the truth. The written word, especially in the hands of
an amatuer, are easily misunderstood. There is no vocal inflection,
there is no facial expression or other body language - just the words.
The pen, and fingers with keyboard, are mightier than the sword - yep -
especially in our day when they can reach out in an instant across
land and sea, around this world, to injure someone who may not deserve
it. It is OK to disagree and state your point - that is debate. What
matters is HOW you say it and how you react to written words. If in
doubt of the intended message - ASK - ask privately.

Guess I won't be missed much, but if the guile and hate continues I too
am going to leave this list. The offenders driving away members are not
just some obscure people who chime in with a mean comment here and
there, but also some BIG NAMES in the national ferret family. No one is
exempt.

See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate, That heaven finds means to
kill your joys with love. Shakespeare

Bob is right when he says, let us not continue to allow meanness, but
rather make a plea to Bill to stop it. I trust Bill to find fair ways
to keep the FML a balanced, but mature, venue of our communication.
Sadly, in the course of some discussions this will place a huge burden
on Bill to monitor and make sure all play nice in the sandbox.

Rather than bite - Love Thy Neighbor - it'll drive 'em crazy.

Vicki Montgomery Tricks and Treats Rescue
Greater Houston/Galveston Texas
713-472-6599
[log in to unmask] [log in to unmask]
"Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace." ~
Dr. Albert Schweitzer

[Moderator's note: Vicky, I do reject some posts. Trouble is, my idea
of what "crosses the line" isn't necessarily the standard of someone
else.

The FML offers no spam, no outright vulgarity, a sorted and neatened
digest and, I think, a pretty friendly tone. Many people appreciate
these features even if they don't necessarily agree on which posts are
acceptable to include. I agree though, once the novelty of the list
wears off it's easy for people to concentrate on the things they DON'T
like instead of appreciating the good things. That's not all bad --
if people leave after a month or two (for whatever reasons) they've
learned a lot and perhaps have contributed a post or two as well in
the meantime.  BIG]

[Posted in FML 5988]