'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a ferret was stirring...not even Henry.
 
Eight paw stockings were hung from an unused cage with care,
In hopes that St. Mustelid soon would be there.
 
The beasties were settled all snug in there bed,
While visions of Linetone flowed through their heads.
 
Charlene wears no kerchief. I don't sleep in a cap.
Still, we'd just settled down for an hour or two's nap.
 
When from the downstairs there arose such a clatter.
I stumbled from my bed to see what was the matter.
 
Away to the staircase I flew like a flash,
Banged my head on the doorframe and opened a gash.
 
The streetlight that shone through our lead-glass window
just obscured the appearance of objects below.
 
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a tipped - over tree and eight beasts with no fear.
 
With a little ring - leader so lively and chipper,
I knew right away that these must be cow - tippers.
 
Much wilder than weasels none wanted the blame.
They dooked and they squeaked and I caught all their names.
 
"Run Granny! Run Clarence! Run Zoey and Edith!
Hide Smudge! Hide Henry! Hide Estlin and Aloysius!"
 
To the top of the desk. To the top of the chaise.
Get away quick! While he's still in a daze!
 
Those sneaky little hoodlums don't want to do time,
When seen by the cops split the scene of the crime.
 
So up to the bedrooms 'round all corners they slid,
Those crazy, furry beasts and that St. Mustelid.
 
I stood and sighed, not believing what I saw
And I heard from upstairs noise from each little paw.
 
As I rubbed on my eyes and was turning around,
From the desk ... a remote control? - dropped with a bound.
 
I  ran up to save it and lucky I did.
It was covered with teethmarks but was not yet hid.
 
Plastic bottles and socks, they're stashed all over our place.
I reached down to grab one and caught glimpse of a face.
 
This beast was magnificent. He'd been the pick of the brood.
His cheeks, they poofed out when they filled up with food.
 
His pink little nose was as cute as could be
And caught in his fur were some needles from the tree.
 
As he opened his mouth I saw strong, white teeth.
He rolled onto his back showing his white underneath.
 
He'd no mask on his face but a round, little belly
That shook when he bouced like that bowl full of jelly.
 
He's big and he's strong and yes, just a bit plump
And I laugh when I look at him trying to jump.
 
A kiss from his tongue on the tip of my nose,
Made me forget that time when he had bitten my toes.
 
He spoke just one dook and ran off to the bowl,
Which uncovered (yes of course) some more stuff that he stole.
 
He bounced once, then spun and then danced off with glee.
I smiled when I thought that this beast had picked me.
 
He ran off to his bed and curled up in a ball,
Then to ferret dreamland away he did fall.
 
I said to the beasts who were hid from my sight,
"Merry Christmas, you beasts,
 to all beasts a good night!"
 
 
Happy Holidays from Joe and Charlene
[Posted in FML issue 1421]