Thank you all for your kind emails.  I appreciate them so much.  This
month has been something out of a horror novel..  and I keep thinking
that this isn't my life.. coming back to reality time, and time again
is like going through a loss all over again.
 
On the second I lost my best friend of almost seven years... and now,
just yesterday..  I lost another.  Sigmar passed away at 8:25AM Thursday
morning.  There was nothing I couldn't do..  that I could have done more
of.  I tried so hard to save his life, and he tried so hard to live it.
He wanted to stay with me... I have nursed him back to health from so
many illnesses... I had hoped things would be alright.  In the end
though..  he needed to go, and I had to let him.  He died quietly in my
mother's arms..  thus he left us almost as quietly as he came into our
lives.
 
I miss him... I miss my Spooky too.  It is so hard to say goodbye,
when you know it will be your last one.  You just pray for a few more
minutes..  and a few more... but really a few more was too many.  I am
relieved he doesn't hurt anymore... but I will miss that beautiful little
face.  He most loved to be held, and was quieter than the rest of my
crew.  Even in his last moments..  he wanted to be cradled, and attended
to.  I will miss taking care of him the most..  but at least I got to
say farewell, unlike the sudden death of my Pooky..  where there were no
words for me.  I am having a hard time dealing with all this... It will
be difficult without them here.  At least I was blessed with them.. even
for just a short while.
 
I know there are many of you who lose loved ones within just a few
weeks.. but a few weeks.. a few years.. it is all just time.  We still
cherish what we have..  when we have it.  Love them while you can..
remember the best parts of living with them...
 
Right now, memory has to be enough.
 
Thanks again for all the well wishes... I so hoped that they would be
enough.
 
Carla
[Posted in FML issue 5137]