Re emergencies. To move ferrets quickly (and avoid having to think
about other possible alternatives) I know this sounds facetious - but
truly, being female, I would put at least one ferret in my underwear,
maybe two. After all they do it in the North of England all the time -
its called "ferret legging" when you use your pants. I find if you
have a pretty good size sweater you can tie it at the waist, or just
make sure your pants are done up tight at the waistband and allow your
tshirt or sweatshirt to form a hammock. I've gotten three ferrets in
sometimes. It does get uncomfortable (I do this occasionally when I
need a ferret to keep out of the way of something I'm doing, it keeps
them interested for about 5 minutes) but in an emergency, as long as
they don't have really long nails, you can manage for a while. BTW If
they tell you "you have to throw the ferrets off the boat", you can
threaten to jump off into the water.

Warning: I personally find it does not work well to put them in your
underpants - mine are too small, and the ferrets want to sniff in
inappropriate places, which makes me jump around. They also can push
through the leg holes causing some damage to skin on the upper leg
area and then get stuck in the pant legs as they crawl down - if you
have tight jeans on.

I had a real emergency about 18 months ago and had to evacuate from my
house in a hurry because of a landslide. Whilst a motorcycle cop tapped
his baton telling me to hurry up I threw the ferrets in two kennels,
(he wasn't watching closely) some birds, and other stuff (phone,
laptop, house documents, purse, large towel, toothbrush) into the car
and drove to the "evacuation area". After avoiding TV cameras (a ferret
free state) and having a sympathetic reporter give the ferrets some
water, my roommate and I smuggled them into a motel room, where that
night (the cage we purchased at Petsmart was too large, the room so
cheap there was no place to set it up) we just let them sleep in the
bathroom in their bedding. We had found a room in a very cheap motel in
a flat part of town 10 minutes away from the landslide in which that
night resided 7 mammals (2 human, and 5 small non-human others). The
motel was clean - kind of- and the office far from the room we rented
so no one knew about the ferrets.

The five ferrets managed to cause chaos, by using unauthorized bathroom
areas, and later as I watched TV I noticed 3 had disappeared. Three of
said 5 managed to claw/chew their way through the plastic covering the
underside of the mattress, and sleep in a "hammock" of plastic under my
roommate's mattress. At first I though they had done a vanishing act -
it was quite unnerving, since they could not have gotten outside. My
roommate (when I first yelled they had disappeared) said they would
come out when they were hungry. However Thursday morning, while I
was packing up and my roommate had left to run an errand, the three
again seemed to have disappeared completely and were not visible by
flashlight thru the plastic. Which meant - they were inside his
mattress! My roommate returned from an errand, and with much cursing,
tipping of said beds (took two of us to upend each one), shaking said
mattress, beating bottom of both mattresses with flashlight (could not
figure out which bed the creatures were in) - we found mine also had
holes in the plastic AND both mattresses also had holes through the
fabric INTO the mattress spring interior. After trying to push raisin
treats up into holes, upending,more cursing and shaking finally caused
emergence of three small weaselly mammals unrepentant and looking
sleepy and startled. There was a moment just before the culprits
emerged when my roommate pulled out an exacto knife, brandished it and
threatened to slit open the mattress, which would probably have meant
paying for a new bed (although the beds and room were not of the
newest). After the beds were tossed back into shape with /sheets/cover
in no particular order, the people in the next room (if they heard the
muttered curses, beating of mattresses) probably wondered what the
heck was going on in that room. (Not to mention Housekeeping later
who may have wondered at the state of his bed). But hey, it looked fine
superficially OK when we left. The carpet was not that great anyway
when we arrived, and maybe some holes were in the plastic of those
mattresses when we got there. I did feel guilty enough to toss a few
sheets back on to the bed, and suggested to roommate we slink off
leaving the deposit we'd placed for a possible second day.

The fuzzies were extremely pleased to get home, and we were pleased
to see the house standing. So we are now prepared for the next time -
although now its 8 of them and two of us to contend with. Maybe a
nicer motel the next time.

MF

[Posted in FML 6338]