Q: "I was wondering, do you find that the ferrets have lower output with
    your gravy?....Sorry about the poop mail....."
 
A:  Don't worry about it; my ferrets are always sending me poop mail.
 
There is a correlation between AMOUNT if feces and QUALITY of food; after
all, what comes out the back end is essentially the stuff that exceeds
demand, is indigestible, or is conveyed too rapidly to be metabolized.  A
surprising amount of poopie is not undigested food, but cellular debris
from the intestines and bacteria.  If digestion was 100% efficient, then
you wouldn't expect much (or any) residue afterwards, but digestion is not
as efficient as you might think.  There is a lot of good stuff left which
feeds an army of insects that have learned to love the abundance.
 
Generally speaking, lower quality foods result in higher poopie yields
because more of the stuff is being eliminated per meal.  I have noticed
that my ferrets put out about half as much as when they ate a kibble diet.
But there is a danger (explained in the post below) that a diet low in
indigestible fiber could exacerbate or directly cause problems.  If you
make Bob's Chicken Gravy from the original recipe, you will find I
recommend adding a little fiber or oatmeal to the mix.  the reason is to
approximate the effect of hair and other indigestible parts a ferret would
ingest if eating whole prey.  It adds bulk, which makes elimination easier.
I would still recommend petromalt or other vet approved compound to reduce
the problem of hairballs.
 
Q: "So how do wild mustelids (like polecats) keep from getting hairballs
    ... do they have secret stashes of Petromalt hidden somewhere?"
 
A: Yes; they buy it in miniature underground malls, in shops called "Stash
   and Carrion."
 
Who says they don't?  I am sure some do, but I think the incidence of
hairballs in domesticated ferrets is higher.  Have you ever seen a mustelid
in the wild?  They crash through tall grass, rub over uneven surfaces and
roll around on the ground.  The mechanical action of moving through snags
and brambles removes much of the loose hair and debris which is left on
caged ferrets whose main physical challenge is climbing into a hammock.
Wild polecats also take frequent dust baths and wriggling in the dirt also
helps rid their fur of loose hairs.  Finally, consuming whole prey is a
type of natural petromalt because the tiny bone fragments and connective
tissue snag hair and move it through (which is the point of petromalt,
right?).  There is one other thing some carnivores do which is cathartic in
nature; they eat grass.  A lot of times, the grass induces vomiting which
helps bring up hairballs, but some of the smaller fragments pass on
through, sort of fishing for those loose hairs.
 
Frequent brushing and grooming of your ferret will go a long way towards
eliminating problems with hairballs, as will giving a weekly dose of
petroleum jelly or petromalt.  If your ferret hates petromalt, mix a bit of
ferrettone (or other favorite treat) into regular petroleum jelly, OR you
can fill an empty gelatin capsule with petromalt and push it in like any
pill (the gelatin will dissolve in the stomach, releasing the petromalt to
do its thang).  Both petroleum jelly and petromalt work because they are
sticky and indigestible, catching those nasty little hairs on their trip
through the poop chute.  One thing that I have noticed (but have not done a
study) is that adrenal ferrets have a worse problem with hairballs than
healthy ferrets.  During my necropsies, I have noted ferrets that have died
of adrenal disease have hairballs in their stomach at least 5 to 8 times
more often than ferrets that have died of other diseases.  The reason is
apparent; they lose their hair as a result of the disease and ingest more
during grooming.
 
Q: "As a Christian, I am horribly offended at your continual reference to
    evolution when discussing ferrets..."
 
A: I love the hell-fire smell of theistic terrorism in the morning....
 
Science answers questions of a physical nature and theism answers questions
of a spiritual one.  I answer questions of a ferret nature.  Since humans
domesticated ferrets, which required change (aka: evolution) from a wild
form to a domestic one; it is appropriate and proper to discuss those
changes in a context of change (aka: evolution).  I am sure your confusion
regarding the definition of evolution could be eliminated with a trip
through a dictionary, as well as your attitude towards people who disagree
with you with a trip through the Beatitudes.
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Nippy Neandertals
[Posted in FML issue 3024]