[Posted in 2 parts ... combined into one.  BIG]
 
I bet a lot of you are wondering Who is this Limejello chap?
 
Especially after his recent and controversial chicken soup gravy disaster
post.
 
Is he a sadistic chicken thief and killer?
A Bob Church basher?
Is he an inept and pathetic cook? (YES!)
Is he in league with...........EDWARD LIPINSKI?!?! (da dummmmmmm!)
What's up wih him? Is he a "loonie"? (Monty Python plug here)
 
Well, I have actually met this "limejello" guy and I can attest that he is
as insane as any other ferret owner I've ever met (maybe nuttier!).  (I
mean, my god, the guy drives a bug, A BUG!  HOW NORMAL CAN HE BE?)
 
For inquiring minds......here's the low down on LIMEJELLO.
 
He's really tall (of course everyone is really tall to me-I suffer from
Bobchurchitis.  say, isn't there a pill for that yet?) and kind of thin
and has long hair that he stuffs into a Jeff Gordan racing hat (remember
Michael, the only reason he wins is because his daddy buys his cars!-
inside King Of The Hill joke here folks)
 
(mummblegauddangferretownerbedrivinafunnycarmanyouain'tcatchin'meridin'in
thatdangtinboxthing)
 
He names his ferrets strange "action" names like Ka-boing!  Richochet! and
Insanity!  (notice that each "action" name has an exclamation point after
it, as though the animal is in constant, curious, and consistent 'active'
motion.... ...........hey wait a minute... he may be onto something here.
 
 ..maybe we should start calling all of our ferrets with exclamation
points......
 
pudgy socks! Pudgy Socks! PUDGY SOCKS!....
 
peanut, Peanut, PEANUT!!!
 
amy!
 
Eddie!
 
FIVEL!
 
nah, doesn't work,
 
Sorry for screaming guys, didn't mean to upset your concentration.  you
can go back to biting my toes.
 
He manages (or should I say his FERRETS manage) one of the wildest web
sites on ferrets on the internet.  Weezils of Doom.  (at last check there
were no exploding chickens on there, just some really frightened humans!)
 
And he likes to hit things with really big hammers.
 
Now, I ask you...IS THAT NORMAL?
 
So to sum it up......
 
Lets see.....
- drives minature car (and dreams of actually owning a car that can go
  over 50 miles an hour and has a heater that works)
 
- Has strangely named "action" ferrets that he screams at.
 
- Has a web site that claims (ok, Michael...... ANNOUNCES) that ferrets
  are taking over the world.  (chickens everywhere BEWARE)
 
- And cracks walnuts with a ten pound sledge hammer (with his eyes closed).
 
I rest my case.  The man is clearly as crazy as any one of you who read
this thing.
 
And
 
I have never EVER in the time I've known him to see him hurt anything
except my feelings when he turns me down for not writing in my newsletter.
 
He really is an incredible ferret owner.  And I'm lucky to have met him.
(but PLEAAASSSEE, don't tell him I said that!)
 
and he's the only human i've met that can do an actual ferret dook!
(sounds just like it!  the man is clearly talented, I'm amazed he's not
married yet!)
 
PS
 
He's from Montana, MONTANA!
 
Does anyone really live in Montana?
 
Why I'm not sure if Montana's even is a state yet............. (last I
heard, I think it was still a territory that we are getting as a throw-in
from that Louisiana Purchase thing.  but they won't let us have it until
we remove the exploding chicken infestation!)
 
oh great, now I'm going to get slammed by Montana people... and people who
own "bugs".  and I'm really going to get killed by MONTANA people who own
bugs.... who also own ferrets..... and have really big hammers.........
 
Must think of something......
 
This post is brought to you by EDWARD LIPINSKI, yes, that's right....EDWARD
LIPINSKI, that's spelled EDWARD LIPINSKI, to you and me......
 
--
---
Michael McKinley <[log in to unmask]>
Director,
Washington State Ferret Association
 
DAMN! I forgot to take the signature off!
When will I learn?
[Posted in FML issue 2751]