It seems like every winter we suffer more losses than usual. The last
really bad winter was 2004, when the flu hit our room, & we had 12
babies throwing up & crying at once. We lost three of our sweetest
little old ladies to that flu, despite all efforts to save them. I
remember feeling so helpless. Although I was running on little sleep,
doing feedings, meds, & fluids, they were slipping away, right before
my eyes...Others in the room had milder cases, or were stronger, and
survived. It was rough.

We have lost several of our babies in the last month. Because we house
a lot of older ones, and ones with health issues, it stands to reason
that some of these sweet little faces won`t be with us for very long--
but the losses still hurt....

So what do we do? How do we cope with the pain of loss? I am asked, at
least twice a week, "How do you do it?" or someone will say "I don`t
know how you do it."

I don`t have all the answers, but here are some of the things that have
worked for ME.

1. I realize that these ferrets are not "mine"--- They are "His"  I am
just the caregiver. They are only on loan to me, for a while. All I can
do for them, is my very best...

2. I try as hard as I can, to give them the best life possible. If one
dies in its sleep tonight, I want to know it got out to play today. I
want to know it had fresh food & water. I want to know I held it, &
loved it--and would have noticed if something glaring was wrong. People
feel guilty by nature, when there`s a death. Woulda, shoulda, coulda.
When our ferrets die, we already feel badly enough--so we need to know,
in our hearts, that we really did make them happy.

3. I know we need to go on, for the sake of the others. They still
need to get out to play--they still need attention. No matter how I am
hurting, I make a point of getting down on the floor, & spending time
with those others--for them, it`s still not too late.

3. I understand other humans are concerned about their little
fuzzbutts, and I try hard to be there when they call for help, advice,
or just to vent. Not only does this help the caller, I can still
possibly reach out and do some good for another ferret out there. If
it`s too late for that fuzzy, I can give the gift of understanding to
a suffering parent.

4. Little things like the Thanksgiving cards (Thank you!), a supportive
email, or an unexpected donation go a long way towards cheering someone
up. The companionship of a loyal volunteer, the support of my spouse,
an occasional good night`s sleep--all of these things help me to cope
too.

5. I want to mention the FML here. This is an excellent support
network. A group who truly understands how precious these creatures
really are.

Although Christmas is a joyful time, the season is still very stressful
to many of us. We feel especially tender, right now... If you have
experienced a loss--if you are facing one--my heart goes out to you.
God bless you, my friend. Consider yourself hugged.

Much love,
Zoo

[Posted in FML 6178]