My two sable males like to steal just about anything and hide it in an
old loveseat (thirdhand from my dorm room days) that I hang onto just
because of its ferret appeal.  I have found pens, markers, the TV remote
(yes, Bryan, you're not alone) and big pretzels inside that loveseat, as
well as many other oddities.  They have individual preferences, too-- Mr.
Fuzz likes to steal foam rubber things (shoe insoles, especially,) while
Mario prefers pantyhose.  At 7 a.m., trying to find a pair of panyhose
without ferret-toothmark runs in them is NOT a fun pursuit.
 
    The strangest thing to date that either of my boys likes to steal,
however, is the phone.  That's right-- the entire telephone.  Mr. Fuzz is
very small for a full-grown male (abt. 2# in wintertime) but he climbs up
on the arm of the sofa and grabs the telephone cord right at the point where
it enters the base.  This is a big AT&T desk model with memory and
speakerphone, not some little Trimline, and yet the little weasel just
starts backing up with the cord in his mouth, dragging the entire phone base
off the end table, onto the couch, and eventually onto the floor.  He will
then try to run with the receiver to put it under the couch, but the recoil
of the cord always gets the better of him.  When the phone starts beeping
with the "off-the-hook" sound, he then hops around as if this proves he has
won.  What we're all missing by referring to this behavior as "stealing,"
however, is the fact that certain items in the world inherently BELONG to
ferrets.  They see these things (straws, glasses cases, entire cereal boxes,
etc.), recognize them as THEIRS, and merely take them to their rightful
place.  We are the ones who then steal the stuff back.
 
Sarah O'Sullivan
Mr. Fuzz (communications major)
Mario ("Gentlemen may prefer Hanes, but ferrets prefer the really expensive
silky kind from Strawbridge & Clothier")
[Posted in FML issue 1372]