As our scene opens, you must imagine the Sargent-Colburn house at night.
It is very quiet.  Christmas lights wink on the tree in the living room.
The refrigerator hums softly in the distance.  But in the computer room,
the soft blue light of the monitor is growing dimmer, and dimmer, and
dimmer....
 
Whistling softly to herself, Lily is painting the computer monitor glass
itself with her paw.  A third of the screen is now blacked out with shoe
polish.  Her paw is dripping with it.  Lily is wearing a black dress sock
pulled down over her head and body.  There is a small slit in the fabric
of the sock for her to look out of.
 
Switch: "LILY H.  WEASEL!!  What do you think you are doing!
 
Lily: (Muffled) "Hee-hee-hee, heeee-he."
 
Switch: (Throwing up both front paws in a gesture of despair) "Lillly!
We talked about this earlier in the vet's office.  You have had a serious
head injury, and you are not yourself yet."
 
Lily: "Heee-hee, hee-hee-hee-hee!"
 
Switch: "Listen.  If you STILL want to join the Taliban in a week, we''ll
talk about it, but this is not the time to be making life-changing
personal decisions.  Please take off that sock, you look ridiculous."
 
Lily: "Heee hee-heee!"
 
Switch: "It is NOT a veil, it is,... it WAS a sock before you cut that
hole in it to look out of!"
 
Lily: (refusing to respond) "..........."
 
Switch: (sighing deeply) "What are you doing, please?  Why are you
painting over the monitor?"
 
Lily: "Heee-heee heeeee he he heee. Heee-heee."
 
Switch: "The FML promotes idolatry, so you are banishing it?  Lily, you
LOVE reading the FML!"
 
Lily: "HEEEEEEEE!"
 
Switch: "Okay, okay!  Don't get your tail all bushed up!"
 
Lily: "Hmph!"
 
Switch: (Turning to leave) "If you need me, I'll be in the living room
piling up all the Star Trek books so you can burn them."
 
Salaam,
Alexandra in Massachusetts
[Posted in FML issue 4362]