Dear Ping is He

This here is Misha.  Ma sometimes calls me Meeshee Moo but you know them
human beans, they get weird sometimes.

I know you are trying to be helpful with the whole polite routine, but I
got a better way.  What you do is make your own identity on the computer
while your human sleeps.  Then they can't get on it at all!!!  Only you
can!!!

And when they get frustrated from not getting on, you put on an act to
"comfort" them, and you gets loads of treats!

Then you can also put a nice fert babe up for your wallpaper.  Yeah baby!

Regards,
Misha the Magnificent
[Posted in FML issue 5263]