Okay.  I heard another storie.  And as most are, dhis came from a human.
Dhis one from Signe Peterson [log in to unmask]  So once you read da
storie, I tell you what really happened!
 
Spring Fling Results in Incarceration
 
I've been reading the recent reports of returning ferrets with great
interest.  A similar story took place in our neighborhood over the past
week, but we didn't learn about it until yesterday (Sunday).
 
It seems that neighbors in the duplexes on both sides of ours had been
reporting ferret sightings to each other and the Humane Society.  At
least four families had witnessed a ferret playing in the yards behind
the duplexes.  A woman from the apartment building across the street was
awakened at the beginning of the week by her barking dog at 3:00 AM and,
upon looking out her window, saw not one but TWO ferrets dancing and
chasing each other in the moonlight.  When she woke her husband to report
this phenomenon, he informed her that she was dreaming... one ferret may
have been set free by its owner, but never two.  When she phoned the
Humane Society the next day, the resident expert on such matters
suggested that what she saw was probably an optical illusion occasioned
by a cat chasing its tail.
 
The family to the right of us spotted a ferret on their 2nd-story deck
frolicking with their cats.  A family two duplexes to the left saw a
ferret teasing their dog.  Someone else said a couple of ferrets had been
sniffing around their garage.  The meter reader found a ferret asleep
under a meter at 6:00 AM.  A man from the Humane Society came out with
his live trap twice but the alleged ferret(s) conveniently disappeared.
 
The whole affair was taking on the aspect of an Urban Legend, and
apparently we and our landlady who lives on the other side of our duplex
were the only people left off the grapevine.
 
If anyone had told US about what was going on, I'm sure Greg and I'd have
been right out there with squeaky toys trying to rescue the poor little
vagrants.  After all, not all ferrets are blessed with responsible owners
such as we...we who pamper our four darlings, give them run of the
finished basement, check them carefully at mealtimes and playtimes each
and every day, ferret-proof assiduously, and always, but always, know
where they are and that they're safe and secure.
 
CAN YOU TELL WHERE THIS IS HEADED?
 
Sunday afternoon we found a note on the window of our front door next to
the "Rescue Ferrets In Case of Fire" sticker.  It purported to be from
the Humane Society and they purported to have impounded a ferret which
they purported to be ours.  How silly.
 
We went to the basement to share the joke with our darlings, and there
they were...all two of them.  Milly and Lilly da Mitt, our little
adoptees, were conspicuously absent.  There was a large hole in the base
of the dryer hose, the same dryer hose that had gone unscathed for the
past five years.  Greg picked up the hose and shook it in bewilderment.
There was a small "click" from its far end, a slight scrambling noise,
and Lilly shot down and out the hole.
 
We headed for the phone and found a message from a neighbor lady.  The
Urban Legends had suddenly materialized while our landlady was raking
leaves and tried to crawl up her pants leg.  She called the neighbor
lady's husband for help and he rushed to her aid.
 
The Legends thought it was all great fun and led him a merry chase.  The
poor harassed Humane Society man was once again summoned into action and
dutifully showed up with his live trap.  Milly pranced into it.  Lilly
dematerialized.
 
The landlady recalled that we had ferrets, but she'd never met them, nor
ever wished to meet them, so could not attest to this particular ferret's
being ours.  The Humane Society man left the note with his home phone
number on the door and triumphantly carted the captive Legend off to the
crowbar hotel.
 
We called the HS man's phone number and asked him to describe the ferret.
It sounded remarkably like Milly.  He said he'd owned ferrets in his time
and knew right away she was someone's pet.
 
She was very friendly, healthy and well-fed (of course she was
well-fed -- she'd been coming home for meals every day).  Milly and Lilly
had obviousl stayed in during the big rain storm on Thursday and the big
windstorm on Saturday because we never saw them looking wet, dirty or
windblown, but they'd gone out again on sunday because the weather was
just so darn nice.
 
Greg bailed Milly out at noon today (with a $10 boarding fee and a $50
embarrassment-donation).  She's fine and they're all in their condo.  (I
think).  I, however, will never be the same again.  The accepted order of
things as I knew it, has been set on its ear.  While we were snug in our
bed and smug at our jobs, those two little boogers were interacting.
 
 -------
Cee, dhat a nice storie and all but dhey make it sound like da ferrets
enjoyed dhis.  Well let me tell you, dhey didn't.  Milly and Lilly were
only trying to show people how ta enjoy life.  Ta expect da unexpected
and to dance.  It really wasn't Milly and Lillys fault dat the dryer vet
looked like a fun tube ta play in.  Cee, us ferrets are taught dat playin
in tubes makes our humans laugh, so you see, we play in dhem not for us,
but for our humans.
 
Now, as for da cat thing, that was Milly.  She was tryin to teach da cat
about us ferrets.  Lilly wanted to play with da dog but dhen decided dhat
it might not be such a good idea.  As for Lilly coming back hom and Milly
getting caught.  Well dhat was all planned too.  Cee dhey didn't want
dhier humans too worri.  So Lilly went back home ta let dhem know dhat
dhey ok.  Milly went to the pound because lots of odher people are dhere
dhat need to know about us ferrets.  So, she got ta play with dhem and
she taught dhem a thing or too.  Dhen when her daddy came to get her she
made him give more money cause da odher animals dhere need help too.
 
Cee, it was all planned.  Silly humans dhink dhat we don't know what we
doin.  We smart.  We are only funny cause we know it makes you all smile
and dhen we get hugs and treats J
 
Storie #6
 
I getting dhere.  Man... dhat a lot of stories to write.  Momma said
she'd help but I tole her I got it.  Cause I got friends helpin me now.
 
Tootles,
Pherit
[Posted in FML issue 4211]