Q: "I never see you post on other mailing lists or alt.pet.ferrets.  Why
    not?"
 
A: I only have enough moralistic whining in me for one list and the FML
   lost the coin toss.
 
Ten reasons:
1) I have a life and a family (and a very good and fulfilling one);
2) I do not gain self-esteem through flaming others or name calling, but
   by completing actual work;
3) There are only 24 hours in a day, and God told me I could only be
   self-righteous for five of them;
4) I don't fish, so I don't consider trolling a sport;
5) Duh!  I am only smart enough to write for the FML;
6) My comments are not nasty or rude enough to be printed in the newsgroups
   (Boy! THAT should start a wicked thread!);
7) I only write for democratic monarchies, NOT dictatorships;
8) What?  There are other mailing lists besides the FML?;
9) You try to write while being nipped on the ankles by 16 ferrets; and
10)I don't poke pencils in my eyes either.
 
Q: "Do you have a webpage with your ferrets on it."
 
A: Yes, but not only have the ferrets been on it, they have used the
   corners to express their opinion.
 
There is a very old one put up by my son Josh, but nothing recent.  My
friend Sam has tried and tried and tried to get me to give her the stuff
to build a new one for me, but I just haven't gotten around to gather the
materials for her.  Some people think it is because I don't care, but I
think it is really because I am just to easily distracted.  What was that?
Rats, now I've forgotten what I was saying.
 
Q: "What do you HATE MOST ABOUT FERRETS?"
 
A: That a corner latrine can encompass an entire room.
 
Its very funny; if my best ferret was a dog, that sucker would have been
stuffed and sold on eBay a long time ago.  Ferrets tear stuff up, they get
into everything, they poop all over the place, they dig up plants and the
carpet, and they simply cannot let you sleep past 5 in the morning.  And
what the hell happened to my car keys??!!  They are not the best pet a
person could choose.  Yet, I adore them, will always have them around, and
would do anything to make their life better.  Go figure.  Its an insane
business.
 
Q: "You jump on everyone's case, but I've never seen you yell at
    vets....Are you just sucking up?"
 
A: I'm always nice to someone with access to really big dogs who aren't
   afraid to pass buttons and belt buckles.
 
I am in awe of them.  Vets are MORE than capable of being a human doctor
(it is much harder to get into vet school compared to med school).  Vets
walk right past the huge bucks, they work just as hard, and they get little
or no respect.  They care for animals because they love them.  A lot of
people will claim a vet is "bad for ferrets," but that almost always
translates as "disagrees with the owner." Sure, some vets are rather
limited in their abilities, but you can say that about any profession.
The bottom line is, I trust and admire people who spend so much money to
learn a trade, and earn so little in return simply so they can work with
and help animals.  They are heroes, every one.  Besides, if I suck up to
them, maybe one will marry me someday and I'll never have to worry about
vet bills again.
 
Bob C and 16 MO' Little Brown Noses
[Posted in FML issue 3020]