Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Switch and Lily don't get a lot of mail.  True, we do get Ferrets
Magazine, but it comes addressed to me.  The ladies don't read the entire
issue, they just scan it for pictures of hob hotties.  Sometimes they
check out the ads, and sigh over the way cool accessories for sale, but
they don't have a credit card.  Thank god.  I don't know where I'd store
two metric tons of raisins.
 
I hold onto my Visa Platinum card very tightly, ever since my ferret
"Don't", sister of "No", snitched it years ago and stashed it inside of
the sofa.  (It was loads of fun calling up Citibank and explaining that
well, I hadn't actually lost the card...but I wasn't up to the challenge
of dismantling my sofa.  Plus weasels had probably chewed up the magnetic
strip, anyway.  Evidently Citibank doesn't have a computer code for
that.)
 
Anyway, they NEVER got a package before.  NEVER EVER.  But they did the
other day, a small white cardboard box.  There was a marvelous thing
inside.  Foamy fries?  Nope.  Some new, exotic kibble?  Nope.  A polar
fleece sleepy sack?  Nope.  An intact hob?  Nope.  Bob Church folded
small?  Nope.  Not even close.
 
You'll never guess, so I'll tell you.
 
It is a small, stuffed green and yellow John Deere tractor with a squeaky
inside.  How convenient!  An apartment sized tractor!  The ladies can use
it to demolish the rest of my collection of african violets.  They have
learned a new trick, you see.  Now instead of beating the plants to a
pulp, they simply REMOVE them from their little plastic pots, and stash
the *&^&+!  pots beneath the big upholstered chair in the living room.  I
keep finding naked, shivering african violets, bare roots to the wind, on
their sides on the windowsill.  No doubt the tractor will be of
tremendous assistance to them in this endeavor.
 
Switch the Kit and Hurricane Lily would like to take this opportunity to
thank fellow FLO members Zoe and Stewart Coddington for this marvelous
gift!  Zoe and Stewart should keep an eye on their OWN mailbox.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts
 
P.S.  Um, Julie, have you checked your wallet, lately?  Is YOUR card
still in there?  Does it have bite marks?  Zoe and Stewart, is there
something you want to tell Mommy?
[Posted in FML issue 4116]