We've been the proud owners of four ferrets, three of which are still living
and none of which like baths. They don't seem to mind the water TOO much, but
hate being shampooed (even with a ferret-specific anti-tears shampoo) and
will not tolerate being towel-dried. Here is a proceedure that I've been
using to make bath time a little less frustrating:
 
First, only put a couple of inches of mildly warm water in the tub. Ferrets
seem to get less stressed about the ordeal if their feet can touch bottom
comfortably. The water should just touch you ferret's shoulders and shouldn't
cover his/her back. Remember to run the water BEFORE you bring your ferret
into the room, or you're likely to end up with a ferret clinging to you for
dear life when they hear the faucett.  Next, put your ferret in the tub
facing straight towards you. hold your ferret gently but securely BEHIND
his/her front legs. At this point, the little carpet shark will probably
throw a fit and try to swim like mad. LET HIM. Your hands and arms should be
safely out of claw distance, so you can continue to hold on while your ferret
does his stationary Mark Spitz imperssion. Since you've positioned your
ferret facing you, he or she can see your face, and will eventually figure
out that the swimming business is not getting him/her anywhere and settle
down for the duration of the bath. You may have more than one swimming
episode per bath, but eventually the little bugger will give up on the idea
of escape.
 
Shampoo the little weasel, being especially careful around the face. Here
again, try to keep you face in the ferret's line of sight, since it seems to
reassure them that everything will be OK. Talking to them in comforting tones
also seems to help.  We've also found that it is much simpler to rinse our
ferrets in the water already in the tub rather than turning on the faucet...
our ferrets DO  NOT like the noise the faucet makes.
 
After rinsing your ferret thoroughly, pick it up and gently squeeze the
excess water from its fur and tail (we call this "wringing them out".) Now
comes the hard part, drying the drowned rat so he/she doesn't catch cold.
We've tried towelling them off, blow-drying them, etc. They will have NO part
of being actively dried-off by a human.  We have found one way that does
work, and definitely makes the process much easier. I have a wicker clothes
hamper that I fill about half-way up with towels (usually ones that are ready
to be washed anyway.) Then, once I've wrung the excess water out of the
baby's fur, I drop him/her into the hamper. I used to hold the top on the
hamper to keep the ferrets in, but after a time or two they got the general
idea and that became unnecessary. Now they burrow through the towels until
they are dry enough to suit themselves, then climb out (and usually finish
the job on the carpet... ah, well, can't win them all.)
 
Once they are mostly dry they get incredibly spastic and playful. Don't
forget to treat your babies to raisins (or some other suitible delicacy)
after the bath. This also seems to help in the long term, since they seem to
remember that the tribultaion of bathing is followed by treats.
 
Good luck. Let me know if you come up with any other tricks for bathing.
 
Marcus
 
[Posted in FML issue 0541]