Yes my fellow Fml'ers sit back and fasten your depends as I tell you about
just another wolfy day. Put your drinks down as I do not want any soda out
of the noses and onto your keyboards. It would be an understatement to say
I have done some outlandish things... but that is typical me.
Hubby and I went to pet store and ooops look at this neat new thing from
Marshalls called "Time Out" . We have been suffering through digging
ferrets in couches long enough (bitter apple only seems to help on wires,
and such) we thought anything was worth a try. In the car we go, and I
stare at this thing with great skepticism. "I don't understand how can
this be any diff than bitter apple really," I say. I look at it. Hmm ..
it's clear..looks like water. I smell it..hmmm can't smell it. I think
sheesh I don't get it. I read the directions... partly. Ok well select
words.
correct
chewing
behaviors
safe
spray
OH I say, I get it. I open up wide stick out my tongue and "SQUIRT".
Hmmmm.. bitter. Hmmm, its... IT'S... OH MY WORD! I find my self
salivating uncontrollably, spitting on every tissue in the car I could
find til they were gone. I then am out of spitting napkins and while my
sensitive hubby drives up on the interstate laughing himself silly, I hang
my entire head out of the car spitting! The spit is then all down the
side of the car windows foamy and all. My son hands me a plastic bag he
finds...and I continue spitting. Hubby whoops it up more, and other child
begs him to pull over.
Now I have an iron clad stomack... rarely have ever vomited....
unfortunately for ME! The taste is growing worse and worse til I am
nauseus. Then it started...... ::cough::.....::cough::. Hubby then laughs
harder the sensitive creature that he is, and states, "if you throw up from
this I'll have you know I'll loose it laughing my ___ off". I begin to
laugh at him, as I am dry heaving, and tears are comming down my face.
So I'm like ::cry...gag...giggle...cry...gag....giggle:: All four of us are
dying laughing when.... "GAAAAG"! Hubbys eyes get like huge saucers and in
his very supportive way, bellows, "#*@^)#$*# ^#*&!!!!! DON'T YOU DO IT>>
OH NO YOU DON'T!! DON'T YOU THROW UP IN THIS CAR!!" This makes me laugh
harder inbetween the heaving and does not help.
Finally he goes down the ramp to a grocery store, and he goes in for
something to help me. I'm thinking at this point a good soda will wash it
all out or bread. My hubby is sooo thoughtful guys. He comes out with two
bags of his favorite candy bars. He takes his time unwrapping one for me
and I grab it out of his hands, tear the wrapper off and shove half of it
in my mouth. It then hit me folks..I can't swallow this. Nope can't do it
it wouldn't be prudent.... too big,,,,, and it may very well trigger real
vomitting. So I bend over my baggies and "blaaaaah" right into it.
Of course hubby had the sweetest words, "@&@#*^!!! What are ya dooooing
now?! OMG! That looks like ___ comming out of y0ur mouth. He is now
swirving. I do this bite, chew, spit thing threw two more bars. What it
came down to was as soon as I tried to stop, the flavor came back. I was
ill half the day.
I begged hubby please don't spray this into the ferrets mouths. He says,
"WHAT?! Why would you think I would do that?!" I told him it said on the
bottle to which i read a few more choice words this time....
key word: OBJECT (not mouth).... spray onto object you want protected.
Well I guess no unwanted ferrets shall invade this mouth tonight.
Wolfy
Please visit:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/
for information on deafness and ferrets:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/deaf.html
take a peek at upcomming "so you have allergies":
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/allergies.html
[Posted in FML issue 3132]
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