Dear Ferret Folks-
 
Ferrets don't share too well but they are great gift-givers.  Here is
what the ladies, Switch and Lily, have given me this Christmas Eve, the
traditional time that we exchange gifts in my family:
 
Four ancient poops and one juicy fresh one in the darkest corner of my
kitchen floor.  Thank god for linoleum, is all I can say.  Oh, yes, and
putty knives, too.  Maybe next year Santa will bring me a new putty knife
for scraping up fossilized fecal material!  A girl can hope.  Maybe if
I'm veeery good...
 
A tipped over wastebasket on the bathroom floor.  Wads of hair pulled
from the shower drain, and numerous empty cardboard toilet paper tubes
are strewn here and there for my contemplation.  Oh, look!  a used
band-aid!  Lucky me.  How thoughtful.  They shouldn't have, really.
 
They knocked over the dog's food bowl again, kibble everywhere...Oh,
that's not for me?  It's a present for the dog?  Silly me, what was
I thinking?
 
I was especially moved by the way they chewed the gifts beneath the
Christmas tree.  Those tiny dimpled perforations in the wrapping paper
are so delicate... It's little personal touches like these that make the
holiday season come alive for me!
 
Right now I can hear them getting one last thing ready for me.  I think
it's going to be a big damn mess under the potted plants in my living
room!  Dirt everywhere!  Nobody, but nobody can fling dirt like my Lily.
She truly has a gift...
 
And I am thinking about giving them a very special gift...a BATH!
BWA-HA-HA-HA!  It's the thought that counts, right ladies?  Now come
here, you furry little elf wanna-bes!  Come to Mamma!
 
Merry Christmas
Alexandra in Massachusetts
 
Switch: "Wait till she finds all the stocking stuffers we left her under
         the sofa!"
Lily:   "Ho-ho-ho!"
[Posted in FML issue 4007]