Hello All,
I thought I'd post these for fun.  We wrote & published them in our
newletter (Ferrets & Friends News) and our readers really enjoyed them!
They may be reprinted so long as proper credit is given and they are not
edited.  Hope you enjoy them!  :)
 
Sincerely,
Tracey-Lee Rein & Heather McPherson
Ferrets & Friends Club and Rescue,
British Columbia, Canada
_____________________________________________________________________
Ferrets & Friends News - March/May 1995 and September 1996 Issues
By Tracey-Lee Rein & Heather McPherson
 
MESMERRAISINATED:
When your ferret stares sweetly into your eyes and you find your-self doling
out the 8th raisin even though you swore you would only give him 2, you have
been Mesmerraisinated by your ferret.
 
POOPOOINTERRUPTUS:
This affliction occurs when a ferret is forced to use his or her litterbox
before play. The ferret is preoccupied with the excitement of being aloud to
play and tries to leave the litterbox before he or she is quite finished the
required task.  This affliction is known as Poopoointerruptus.
 
DOODYFRAUDULATION:
When a ferret  is forced to use his or her litter box before play, he or she
may try to simulate the act of doing a doody in order to be allowed out of
the box to play!  Watch for this naughty trick.  When a ferret fakes a doody
he has committed Doodyfraudulation
 
KITTICLUMP AWARD:
When your ferret removes a large quantity of fur from your cat's tail and
proudly spits it out on the carpet in front of you,  you have been presented
with a Kitticlump Award.
 
VINDICTIVE FOOD DISPERSAL:
When a ferret is returned to his or her freshly cleaned cage sooner than
they wish to be, the ferret will sink both paws up to his or her elbows into
the overflowing food bowl and proceed to fire every last kibble across the
sparkling enclosure.  This petulant display of frustration is known as
Vindictive Food Dispersal or VFD.  See Antagonistic Litter Levitation and
Ferretfog
 
HEM HIKER:
When a ferret runs along under-foot-- launches himself up your housecoat--
grabs the hem of your morning attire with his teeth and hangs on for several
hundred feet, the ferret is said to be a Hem Hiker
 
FLUSH FASCINATION:
When a ferret hangs off of the side of a flushing toilet and watches in rapt
fascination while the water swirls away down the drain he is said to have a
case of  Flush Fascination
 
DOODISTRACTION:
When a ferret is too preoccupied with recreation to concentrate on bowel or
bladder control he is said to have a case of Doodistraction.  Doodistraction
is the number 1 cause of Doody Placement Perplexation.
 
POTTY BONDING:
This special occasion usually occurs when a human is visited by their ferret
while the human is in the process of using the household toilet facilities.
The ferret notices the activity, backs into the area directly beside the
human's toilet and then the ferret will relieve themselves on the floor.
Often this activity occurs as the ferret stares up at his human companion
adoringly.  When this event occurs it is known as Potty Bonding.
 
VINDICTIVE BOARDER DEMARCATION:
When a ferret is left alone in the owners home he or she may become petulant
and may engage in Vindictive Boarder De-marcation (VBD).  VBD is when a
vengeful ferret strategically places a doody directly in front of the door.
The unfortunate returning owner upon opening the door is faced with Maximum
Doodispersal as the swinging portal grinds the VBD doody into the wall to
wall carpet
[Posted in FML issue 1748]