This here letter is for Miss Samantha.  Now I've bin readin the FML when mom
wasn't lookin an I figure I better do some quick talkin cuz theres two other
guys out there wantin the same gal I do.  So Miss Sammi, I thought I ougt
tell you bout myself a little.  Ferst of all I'm not as big as that there
Conan guy but my mom tells me I'm the best so I guess I must be.  I'm a
special fert cuz I'm from Canada and as everyone knows us Canadian ferts are
pretty neat.  Everyone else around this house has been from that place
called Marshall Farms so I knows that I'm different.  I only weigh about 3.5
lbs but I got the cutest little fat legs and big feet.  Mom says I waddle
when I walk.  I have little mitts on my front feet and the neatest bib with
some speckles on it.  Mom also says I got the sweetest face and my mom is
always right ya know.  I was borned back in September last year so I figure
I'm just the right age for a sweet thang like you.  I know this is gonna
make the chosin hard but I wanted to make sure you knows that even though my
mom doesn't think I'm ready to get married and all that stuff that I sure
would make you one happy lady fuzzie.  I'm the best at beggin for raisins
and mom always gives in cuz I climbs her leg ifin she doesn't give me
somethin.  I used to be a bad boy but since I've matured some I give lots of
terrific kisses and all.  So please, Miss Sammie before you goes and makes
your decisin on who's will be the groom, just keep me, Bubba in
considoraton.
 
Love and fuzzie kisses,
Your admirin Bubba
[Posted in FML issue 1644]