from Joyce regarding her situation with her So's daughter who doesn't like
her fuzzies: "Is it that she is under so much pressure from school and
trying to cope with the new home situation that she can't tolerate the
boys?"
-or-
Is it that she hasn't learned that when you live in someone else's home you
adjust to their way of life not the other way around?  If she is old enough
to go to college she is old enough to live on her own and have her home the
way she likes it.  Since you didn't mention that Dad has tried to set her
straight and remind her to be grateful to have a place to live in, it sounds
to me like she is used to calling the shots with her family and they let
her.  I understand trying to compromise in a new living arrangement, when my
husband and I got married it was clear that he didn't feel the same way
about my fuzzies as I do-HOWEVER-he respected my ferrets because he respects
ME.  I compromised by keeping an eye out that they didn't get into things
that would upset him and he -in turn- compromised by trying to understand
that they don't make messes on purpose - they are ferrets, thats what
ferrets do!  He has now come to love them as much as I do.  You seem to be
in the place where you are thinking of choosing between a boyfriend and your
animals.  Although I did not have to face that decision, I know the real
question I would be asking myself is, do I want in a relationship with a man
and his family who don't respect what is important to me?  Changing yourself
to keep others happy almost always results in loss of self respect.  What if
giving away your ferrets STILL doesn't make her happy?  Chances are it won't
and she will find other things to complain about.  Maybe the ferrets should
stay and the daughter (and boyfriend too if he is as inconsiderate) should
go.  My guess is that this problem is much bigger than her not liking your
animals.
 
Cordially,
Kim Black - proud owner (with full cooperation of my husband) of
LittleMan , who will steal the socks right off your feet if you let him!
[Posted in FML issue 2213]